|n a laNd oF mEmOr|eS

Merry Xmas!!!!

2008-12-20T02:41:00.005+08:00

While one thoughts she gonna be lonely and bored when her mentor is not around, she could be wrong at times. Frankly speaking, whenever this boy went back home or was away from work, the classes are exceptionally quiet in some areas. Wouldnt say i am used to the silentness. More towards i am always adapting myself to these situations.

So far, he had been away for a week. Hadnt seen the rest of them as well too. Other than a couple of them. Should i say i had been blessed or should i say i am lucky. In any way, i juz wanna say I am havin a fruitful, yet busy and tiring school vacation break. Busy with skating, song mixing, sleeping, doing classes, wrapping pressies, and lastly busy on mission. BUT BUT BUT, despite i had been so busy n tired, i had been heavily showered with luv in this festive season while tis boy is away. Thank you darlings!

Created a "name" to myself on tues in EP. Laughters, jokes, commotions, shouts, screams. Everything was heard within the one solid hour. Luv it, enjoy it and will miss all these when i embark onto my new class in Jan 09. Why am i not anticipating to the NEW classes?
Reason: Cherish, Memories, Appreciation

Then came wed once again. History repeated. I wouldnt elaborate much but i know for myself that at least i had ended the FINAL wednesday KB class in PM with a remarkable exclamation mark with smiles from the members.

Came thursday, the day where i almost ended up crawling back home. Working from 9.30am to 9.30pm. 12hrs with 6 hrs of hard cardio teaching. Was showered with compliments since morning. Accepted graciously definitely. And i "killed" the thurs kb 7.30pm class in a nice manner. But its a shiok one! Thanks to the class for supporting me since April 3rd 2008 till now. Seeing them grow, seeing them improve, thats really something that worth to be applauded.

Officially a 1 yr old instructor. What to say! Thanks for the support and encouragement during the full yr. Thanks to those who had lent me their shoulders, hands and ears when i needed them most. Thanks to my mentor, fellow instructors and members definitely. I wouldnt be here if u hadnt been here too. Not many how things might change in the upcumin yr or so, I sincerely hope everyone would be showered with luv, care and good health in the yr of 2009.

Merry Xmas to everyone!

Luv,
Edlyn

P.s: Someone told me that my Xmas would not be lonely despite i gonna cover class. I take their words. Looking forward!!! = )

Climbing out~~~

2008-12-01T00:40:00.003+08:00

Would you choose to ignore or would you choose to believe?
I had walked past them and i had heard those words. Should i ever try to ignore and pretend that i din hear them or should i ever learn to accept those words?

Letting it go and be a happier person. Do such sentence exist? Is it significantly true that one would be happier if one tend to let go her burden and unhappiness. Frankly speaking, ever i myself do not know the root of the problem.

But back to square, i am still thankful that i still have a group of friends who are always standing by me and watchin over me. Thank you.

and not forgetting the sunday group in TS. These ladies are juz too remarkable in making my SUNDAY. They really can make me smile lots..........

ANyway..... dun worry for me, darlings.....I'm tryin and really trying. I wish to be happy and back to my old self.

Climbing out of my unhappiness is a tough journey.......

I wish to be happier.....

2008-11-27T00:31:00.002+08:00

How should i explain myself out here?
Can i let my voices to be heard over here?
I dunoe...

My mind is running wild again....
breakdown........ tears.... almost everythin are here....

WHen will u be remembered by others?
When will ur name be remembered 1st by others?
When will they be available when u nid them?

I chose the path to move on...... but had i really moved on???
Upcumin bd: only 1 wish is to be happier.....

Weak and sick

2008-10-02T09:17:00.003+08:00

Had fallen sick for the 1st time in this yr. I hate this kind of feeling. Body juz dont feel good. Yucks. Everything is turning upside now. Physically, emotionally, almost....

But while all these r goin wrong, someone manage to brighten up my day....

YEst was childrens' day. Got a surprise children's day gift from my god-mummy.... saw a big sunflower when i open the locker yest.... ooh... so sweet of her.... been quite some time since i had a private chat with her..... in fact missin her lots...

Next, supposingly thought it was a PH and no one would show up in the class. But end up the class was pretty packed at TS yest... 16 each for both KB and NB.... and most of them are my own regulars.. We had a wackin yucky good time.....= )

And definitely the final moment where i got to go singin with huimin... Its been like ancient years since we been talkin about this topic. Always want to go, but time dont permit... And finally we go... It seems to be a retro session for us...... all the good old songs..... yeah!!!! And definitely the small tiny gossips of some pple.. hAHAH....

Thank you for brightenin the day of mine.....

P.S: Feelin cold and weak..>.... To go or not to go????

SIANZ!!!!

2008-09-29T00:47:00.002+08:00

Been so emo recently, guess all is in due to the cant go swimmin or sun-tanning sydrome. No time or the rain juz spoil everything. CRAP!

Knew i wun be happy if i were to go cover that class. And yah, i am damn right. Dunoe wassup with these pple lah. But heck them. I had oreadi given up hope on them! If they r dere to have fun, sorry that i cant give them. To me, its jz serious workout. At least i gt to brighten the day of the rest of the members.

Back in TS... urm.. my body turned all the way down. Begin to feel drowsy, sleepy, aching muscles, dizzyness... almost everything..... but still gotta pull myself through. Could be my blood pressure was rushed up by those pple. Thankfully those pple were understanding, esp. my kb pple. Thanks babes. Steps was fun other than this high egoistic lady who claims tis and that. I had tried but u......

Collapsed on bus and further on bed later..........

SUN morning was a fun time... Wasnt able to tink of any routine before that..... so was like panicking when i reach TS.. luckily my mind manage to force outside out just before the clock strikes 9.20am. So tada.... send the class round and round.. Goody news is the class shoots to 18 today. In an unexpectedly manner. It finally went back to the old record when i did not find any replacement. If only it could maintain or gets better.....

tried something new with the two crowds. Send them shoutin in pain. Got no idea where i get my power from. But then....... they really perk me up.....

...............................................................................................................................................
In some way or another... when you are busy, u would not really think so much.... But once u are alone, everything will start to breeze right in front of you. You begin to think how how how..... all the negative stuffs would flow.... you begin to get so emoooooooooooooo.......

SO fast tml school begins.. I AM NOT PREPARED! ESp. for my thurs mid term test..SHUCKS!!!

Grouchy

2008-09-26T01:41:00.002+08:00

Feelin grouchy for the day. Feeling restless as well. Wanna enjoy, wanna go and suntan... but so many things happening... I am bored!!!!

So hard to understand people. Would you agree? Esp. when people are shutting themselves from you. When they dont open up, you never know whats going on.

Hope tml goes smooth. SERIOUSLY!!!!

I juz wanna do things that make me happy. Thats d min. i ask for.

You will shine!!!

2008-09-20T23:44:00.002+08:00

I never expect i would tell her everything. But the discussion just started unknowingly. Its not an awkward discussion. But i should still thank her for the encouragement.

ON my way home yest, i were on the fone with C. As usual, she always shares stories with me about those pple. But in some way or another, i cant be bothered. Not bcuz i am having some attitude problem, it seems more towards i know what is meant by constructive vs. rubbish words. The words might be alittle hurting, but i will jz accept them humbly.

Tis morning, i din anticipate much from the crowd. Deep from my heart, i dun expect the turnout from these pple. TO me, i juz wanna do my best shot. And everythin is either a WoW or a Sink. U make it or u doom it! Started off ok.. but then towards the end, i'm runnin out of stuffs... end up tada......

But my most enjoyable moment would still be the small little outlet. Pple are nice and i enjoy my moment with them. SO glad the attendance is consistent despite its small. My weakness equal the strength of the others, but my strength is definitely an edge over them. So juz push your way through and go all out!!!!!!!!!!

JIayou bah!!!! U will shine!!!

ESSAY!!!

2008-09-16T18:26:00.000+08:00

10 essays.... with 2 diagrams each.... all nid to be completed within this fri...... SHucks... Today is oreadi tues............... and i had only completed 2....... will i be able to complete by fri.....

Anyway... today was jz a normal day...... bored/.....

TOday i will make a difference

2008-09-16T01:33:00.002+08:00

Today I Will Make A Difference

Today I will make a difference.
I will begin by controlling my thoughts.
A person is the product of their thoughts.
I want to be happy and hopeful.
Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful.
I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances.
I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters.
I will avoid negativism and gossip.
Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark.
Today I will make a difference.
I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me.
Time is a precious commodity.
I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom.
I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant.
I will drink each minute as though it is my last.
When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever.
While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving.
Today I will make a difference.
I will not let past failures haunt me.
Even though my life is scarred with mistakes,
I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures.
I will admit them.
I will correct them.
I will press on.
Victoriously.
No failure is fatal.
It's OK to stumble - I will get up.
It's OK to fail - I will rise again.
Today I will make a difference.

Something meaningful to share with my loved ones....

Luvin myself

2008-09-15T22:46:00.002+08:00

I guess all of us would luv ourselves more than anyone else would want us to be. Am i correct to say this? I feel so disturbed when people keep asking me am i alright or how am i feeling? 1 time is correct, but if i see them at least once or twice a week and the similar question keeps popping up. I feel its annoying. Makes me so reserved to myself.

Life hasnt been very smooth for me in the 2nd half of the year. Been experiencing more setbacks than surprises. Adding on, things are getting out of the way too. I feel a sense of loneliness and a sense of boredom.

i have made my plans. Will be stayin away for 1 week in december.... will go into a tiny hole...... i am not like them... i cant anyhow take leave as and when as i like...... leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!

i jz want my personal space............................................ cum n go in perhaps..............................

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Gathering at taka

2008-09-11T00:03:00.002+08:00

Oh... almost thought no one is reading my blog. Was quite surprised...
Hi Zhao Yuan...... hehe... been long since i hear from u.... hope yall still doing good...

Oooh..... I jz came back from a dinner with 3 good friends... pple whom u hardly meet up.... but the time is definitely worthwhile.. its jz like a treasure to me... Went to a chinese restaurant in taka to eat... small serving but it does makes u full..... had our usual chat... hehe....nt that bad.....

And for another day... i am not in AMORE>.. neither working nor working out... haHAH..... nid to relax awhile before the WDO is back...... i tink i going bonkers sooner or later....

Btw, i'm lookin forward to teach a corporate class on cuming fri.... ooh.... its a great deal i guess.... hope i am not bluffed..... look forward in any other way..... it shouldnt be that tough......

Lastly.. i am turning into a fat pig soon... My house got 9 boxes of mooncakes.... CRAZY le..... wonder how to finish them....... but then... they are nice.. ,my fav. snowskin and also DA ZHONG GUO..... woohoo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*SOmetimes i do hope others will try to understand me more..... there are more reasons than normal that i am doing all these.... i cant say and i wun say... bcuz ur lips are not as tight as others.....*

Weekend burnt

2008-09-07T20:18:00.003+08:00

Woohoo!

YEst. alumni gatherin was so-so... Only 2 of my lecturers were present. Mrs Koh and Mr. Yik. Yup, they still remember me. Luckily i am the famous one, not the infamous kind. Had a chat with them and he still can tease me. DIaoz.....

ANyway went to chill out after the session. Guess my mood hadnt been real good recently. Ended up gulpin down the long island in 5mins. I muz be mad. And tada, the effect shown in my tummy. Feel my tummy burnin!!!! and i'm feeling so hot on the rainy nite. But it was damn shiok!!!

SUN
Pretty in good mood today. Finally i am there with the pretty babes in TS. Misses them lots. Surprised them with a new routine & new music too... BUT they were LATE!!!!!! A whole bunch of them!!!

Had lunch with two of them and tada......... i am off to kovan

Attendance is low... They told me tml school reopens... so not much pple show up... HahA.. wat a good reason.......

anyway i spend money AGAIN!!!! haix.. muz try to do something.....

Back in action

2008-09-06T00:30:00.003+08:00

Wonder anyone misses my blog? Urm.. i doubt so............
Firstly, thanks to joc for helpin me in the new layout.... thanks lots..its lovely...

Had been missing myself away from this blog for about 2-3 mths. In fact, it wasnt that long after all. Partly for the fact i had been blogging in malay for my LAM1201. Its a tedious job after all. But thanks goodness, all has come to an end. I had passed and cleared the module. Currently, i am left with 8 modules with 4 to clear in each semester.

Juz to update everyone that i am doing fine. Still busy as usual. Quite a number of things had happened apparently. Should i mentioned specifically? I doubt so.... Perhaps juz a short summary for each.

1) School Life
I am back in school with 4 modules, 3 are level 3 module and 1 level 2 module. A tough semester despite its only 4 modules. Heavy workload. ALot of self-research n readings. ANd plenty of projects. CRAP! But all these will come to an end soon. PLEASE!!!! i cant stand this anymore.

2) AMORE
Ever busy in this area. Regardless classes or so. With acceptance and rejections also. UNavoidable. Roadshows are up, but i am not very involved. I lose alot of friendship upon taking up this job. I lose alot of pple upon embarking on this career. I become more quiet when i am to myself. I am juz different. I cant share with you the reasons, but then i am trying to be myself at least.

Over the two weeks, i think i had a sudden shock in my whole life. Few sentences of words were ringing in my head, causing me to tink and think and think. Making me filled with emotions, making me cracking my brainds and so on. Juz about when the matter was cleared, another shocking matter entered my life. One after another. BUt its all over. Matter closed. We move on................. FULL STOP!

Did alot of soul searching on this fri. After school, i jz hop on a bus and alight anytime. For some reasons, i get so emo that my head is spinning with words, pple and everything. I begin to question myself and soon my eyes are teary. Should i juz give myself a break and runaway? Should i jz hide myself? SOmetimes i wanted to leave silently.... to somewhere else....

I may leave earlier than u expect....
I may trap myself further....
I may jz shut up and move on my life...

i dunoe how long can i endure.. but i am trying my best. Pray for me if you can.
BUAI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Malay lam 1201

2008-06-24T22:55:00.002+08:00

Hey Yo!

my school has just begun with a new special semester. Currently, I am studyin Malay LAM1201. Its quite a cool module though. Partly, i get to learn new stuffs such as grammar, vocab, verbs and etc. Adding on, with the additional help from the rest, i guess i should be able to pass this semester. I hope so.

Anyway, i am still havin my sexy voice. Didnt seem to get any better. The voice juz remains the same. And yest was the most drastic. I had to compete my voice with the renovation voice from Thomson NTUC. BEST!!!

But i am real happy. The number is increasing and for once... woohoo... the thomson KB class actually rise to 20..... slowly building up the number and its never easy to get 20 pple to go for thomson evening classes... glad that it showed... but definitely if the number can maintain or improve on, i would be even more than happy to accept it....

Oh ya... nt to forget that i have a gd wkend over the wk.... spent my time with some friends of mine.. Had a sumptuous dinner in MS. First time trying out the different kinds of food... despite i am sick... and not able to exactly taste the food, but i like the ambience of the area. Pretty cosy and the food is nice, other than the super sweet dessert....

Alrite.... fever for so many days... then cold cough sore throat... all cum in together.... really nid a moment of rest i guess...... but then... *politics matters*....... cant reveal......

JIAYOU BAH!!!!!

Life without u gals makes me sad

2008-06-19T23:20:00.003+08:00

Yeah... we r all sick together... bingo...... all started from 1 same person.. i guess so.. and the virus jz spread n spread n spread... and tada... now we r all sick with the same symptoms.......

SIck sick sick.. cant shout.. even talkin into the mic hurts my throat.... struggling so badly in class today... was tryin to talk normally... but because some pple were nt listening... i had to raise my voice... and then my throat is in such deep pain..... haix... crap!!
Anyway... i am pretty much sad..... the term *B*side*.... seems to be getting so detached.... one leaving after next.... haix.... dunoe ah.... feel so lonely at times... hope and wish everyone all the very best i guess.....

Was thinkin of findin replacement for tml evening class... but then... had a promise with the NB ladies in TS>..... i had to be there no matter wat...... haix.... jz pulled myself dere.. lucky nw they know d proper way of carryin dumbbells... tink my life wun b so tough for tml..... tink only ah.....

Life without u gals is so boring!!!!! I will miss u... Wonder how will be the class that i am attending without u being dere..... take care.. hugs....................

Too many things

2008-06-17T22:47:00.002+08:00

Guess too many things have happened recently, till i am in no mood to disuss any particular things.... Haix.....its so saddening lah... but thats life... gotta jz accept......

We cant change some thing... but we gotta work on it......

Thanks for ur sensitiveness...= )

Brightening ur day!!!

2008-06-11T00:16:00.002+08:00

While i managed to brighten the days of others, my mood still remains the same: LOW

Several plans set and planned today.. but because of this and this.. that and that.. it had been cancelled..... SO fuming!! 1st mentioned was training bcuz he was sick... so cancelled... plan2... was to mit up with sasha to go get something... but tada.... somethin cropped up also..... plan cancelled off again......

Then jz went to EP alone... and reachin at 6.35pm... early... and guess what... dun wan to do anythin... no mood le... so i jz sit down.... and watch claudia do her routine.. she looks tired..... poor ger.... i dunoe why... but i am juz not in the mood to do anythin.. nt even to teach class.... jz no mood..... i wasnt even tinkin wat am i goin to teach in less than an hour time..... stone and stone n stone..... perhaps i know the reason why...... SIANZ!!!!!

BUt anyway..... they were more receptive towards me some ways..... it was a good class... to them and to me.... despite the mic played on me again during the 35mins...... i still tried to shout n scream as i could... and funni thing... everyone says i shout very loud....... oops..... at least these pple r able to brighten up my days alittle..... thank you....

Things are no longer the same... Pple are no longer the same..... I dont like to be deceived by others.... and treated like a puppet by others... KNS........ DUN STEP on my tail........ or else... i cant guarantee the consequences.... i'm watchin you!! I'm really am!!!!

I wish all these cum to a full-stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since i cant brighten up my ow days, I rather make the days of others happier........ SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! = )

We change

2008-06-09T23:10:00.002+08:00

In our lives, we change. We change in any area; be it physical or emotional. Recently, I have been thinking for quite alot. Are we really like string puppets with strings attached to us? Are we always being pulled around by others? Are we born to follow others? Do we really have a voice to ourselves?

Some people are quite so fake. I juz cant stand them at times. In front of others, they look like an angel. Yet, once they turn their heads away, their horns begin to show and next, guess what... they begin to reveal the real self of themselves. Basically, its RUBBISH!! You are just a piece of shit right in front of my eyes.

As time flies, I have almost been teaching in AF for about 6mths. Its just so fast. No one can imagine. Currently, i am holding 8 perm classes. Supposingly to reduce to 7, but this figure is going to increase. Tentatively its stated 11 classes. But it should be rising to 12 or 13, still in pending mode. I guessed i am lucky at times, with all the guardian angels around out there for me. I'm enjoying my current life, but i am also accepting another fact. I have to drop the status and the feeling of me being a member attending classes. I have to go into the phase whereby i am only teaching and merely attending classes. Can i bear to do so??? Slowly slowly... i nid time to re-adapt. Bcuz i always luv the feeling of attendin classes with everyone.. This kind of fun, enjoyment and laughter is never the same when u r an instructor.

Lastly, my ahma condition is not on the positive side. THe cancer cells have apparently spread to almost every part of her body and she is in-taking morphine.Adding on, the doc had mentioned that there are additional two tumours found close to her head. Looking at her, the body looks swollen and weak. As predicted, she is left with less than half a year or even lesser than that. I have accepted the fact of birth and death since many years back. Prepared for the worst, as the whole matter involves so many families conflict and backstabbers. Sometimes i juz wish this case would close fast...so that it can ease the minds of everyone... But, its jz dragging....

I am tired...... Looking forward to a brand new day.... = )

Wassup Wassup!

2008-06-06T23:51:00.002+08:00

Too many things had happened...

My ahma is in A&E.... on tues midnite..
and now she is in A&E again.... crap!!! dunoe ah....

BUsy busy busy....while others are havin their holidays... i am busy covering class.. and sorting my school timetable....

Hope my new schedule will be gd... alot of pending things......

Yest is history, tml is mystery.. and today is gift... thats why its called a present...= )

Un-happening....

2008-05-29T00:40:00.002+08:00

Nothing happening had been going on for the past two days. Things appeared normal to me, i guess. Had been trying to find things to do, especially in improving myself. But humans are born lazy or just wanna relax down. SO tada....... u know u know....

Anyway catch the movie of Indiana Jones... wont say its a disappointing show. Just that everything is so normal, nothing for me to anticipate. 1st half hour is so boring. Thought when they place the crystal skull back, something will happen. But then but then.... its just like this. ONly thing that amazed me would definitely be the 3 falls... referring to the 3 waterfalls. I am always fascinated by things related to water, especially clear water. And i knew its very hard to do anything in relations to water. So yeah, thats d only thing that wow me in perhaps.....

Didnt do any replacement classes despite offers were given to me. Reasons are pretty simple. I just wanna attend classes and dont want to keep teaching. It could be tiring! And the classes are not disappointing... in some ways or another. Especially the lameless actions and forgetfulness of someone....

Looking forward to thursday. A brand new day. Praying hard that my headache will go away. Praying hard that my gastric is off. Praying hard that my sugar content shoot back to normal. Praying hard for good health. Praying hard for alot of things.

Juz got the news that my ahma caught a fever. Hope she recovers no matter what. Be blessed.

Juz now got another big news from someone.... its true but hidden.

Side track abit... if only i cant dont bother so many things, i would be the happiest person i guess..... Should i take up the course? I dont know..... TBC....

Thanks for the memories

2008-05-27T01:35:00.003+08:00

Its so hard to teach class with an injured finger. One, you cant clap your hands. Two, you cant bend your injured finger. Three, you have to pretend that you look ok. Hell, basically.

Anyway, I were figuring where am i supposed to go after my class in HPB. And finally decided back home, A.F..... till now, i am still not sure whether had i chosen the correct path just now, because all things came to a halt.

Classes in T.S.... i believe they are getting better. We had a fun time together during CB. Guess the memorable part is they were trying to get the new heels moves and the new scoop pose... something new for everyone i guess.... including me... Hehe.....All 9 members were fun and loving. Smiling as usual ya. And there is an additional new member from another outlet who was dere too. How nice! KB.. seeing more regular faces. As usual, they may not be shouting, but they are improving in terms of stamina, skills and techniques. I am glad that this is a progressive class though. No matter there arent anyone shouting, no matter there were only the 14 of you, no matter there were only 1 weird instructor, no matter what..... we all move together as a group/ team. Neither all is in their own world.

I am still having my fun time out there with you ladies on every monday. Thank you!

The spark of light... the shining stars out dere... keep glowing... keep shimmering.....

and hanging up high in the sky.....

Without you, without me: i guess....= )

One moon surrounded with many sparkling stars..... and an angel looking after us....= )

.......................................................................................................................

Btw, i managed to find out that i had cleared the current MCs for my semester. Left 9 more modules.... jiayou jiayou jiayou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The world's clumiest ger

2008-05-26T11:30:00.002+08:00

Who could be as clumiest as me??? Tinking that she decides to cook a meal when she woke up at 9.30pm for dinner.. and she sliced her finger while she opened a can of soup?? Seeing the blood oozing out from the ring finger.. seeing the blood splattering out and forming marks on the surrounding pots and pans.... seeing the blood refusing to stop... woohoo..... this ger muz be mad in the mind.... And this person is ME.............................

And now i cant really bend my 4th finger as its painful though......

Oh yeah... i got a new move for my class.. Haha... caught by surprise indeed that i am doin it... so were the members.... we all had a great luff despite the class is only 9 members... diao rite.... but fun fun fun!!! Long tired sleepy day.....

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Urm...... i seem to find it weird when i cant stand guys who cant look into the eyes of the ladies when they talk. Its like where are you lookin though... And in two days, i saw 2 people of such... anyway.... i seem to draw another conclusion.....

Fire and water can never be together

Different interests, different character, different views and opinions

Why gotta force ourselves to be together

We can only be general friends

Or what others labelled "Hi- Bye" friends

Till now, its still the same

"Unchange-able"

Dun blame me for such as i cant see the value in there

But back then, the word is still "Cherish"

Contradiction

2008-05-24T18:22:00.002+08:00

Contradicting members.... Using the same piece of music for KB, last time they comment that the music is too techno... and today she says the music is OK... and when i told her its d same piece, she is dumbfounded and shut her mouth up... SO weird right!!!

Supposingly to cover class at kovan, but change of plans... ended up back in WL.... CRAP!!!! The moment i enter the outlet, guess what Tracey told me " Weishi, the mic is spoilt. We have tried solving the issue, but the technician can only return back on Monday. Diaoz!!! I thought the situation wasnt as bad as i thought. But the moment i hook on the mic and did the testing, i cant even hear myself, not to say from the speaker....

And tada..... 9.30am KB... 1030am ABT.... 11am HILO.... the pathetic throat had been used vigorously for shouting.... thanks goodness that today's members were patient and nice towards the whole issue. Everyone seems to enjoy all the 3 classes..... thanks goodness...

And all good things did come to an end... reachin thomson... 320T.... thought the mic over dere is doin good... guess what...... something went wrong for the sound system... cant turn on the music.. neither can i hear myself over the mic..... had to use my voice for another 15mins before they solve the problem for me.....

Thanks goodness that i am still able to talk now... or else i dunoe wat will happen to me tml... Mayb wake up and found myself mute.... better not loh.....

To conclude... i am very blur.. very tired.. and worn out.. after the whole week.. ALL thanks to the super happening things that happen over the week........

A long day

2008-05-23T00:27:00.003+08:00

THis is the 1st time i am teachin so many classes within a same day.... Non-stop 4hrs of lecture cum aerobics classes with the P3 students from Northland Primary school... some of them were real nice and sweet..showering me with words... while some of them could be rather nasty though.... ahem.. shall nt mention which particular group... But overall i had fun...

1st time teachin the stupid seated/ chair aerobics... hope its the last also..... ended up runnin up n down.. stomping my feet.. talkin.. and so on..phew... quite cool..... was lookin forward to my lunch at 1pm.. but end up i dunoe wat happen... i saw the queue was too long... so i went up to PM studio and forget to go down again.. Diaoz...

Continued on with the marathon though.... end up attending HIS class.... as usual 2 of them... not bad in general... jz tat... someone forget his moves.. lost in his counts... his words.. and cues... oops... who huh... u know i know....

Off to bugis.. for wat... dinner for this poor hungry soul..... Great dinner chat..... hahA... dunoe wat we talk also...... btw, i guess i am losing my bet of my song mix... haHA.. tats gone my 10bucks... wahHAH... but nvm... take it as a form of donation to this charity foundation... wahHA...

Lastly, ended up in east point... 2nd final stop.... by then i am also on the verge... routine wasnt in my mind... was swingin and swayin..... so did watever i can.. class size was small jz nw.. dunoe why... nt bad in general... at least everyone is enjoyin... yeah... jz wanted to chop chop end... same apply for LO class..... thankfully they r newcomers.... so did alot of repetitions as my mind really cant tink by then.....

And finally i am back home at 1145pm...... rest rest rest...
Will i ache tml?
Will i be in pain?
ahAHHA.. i gt no idea... pray hard ya....lalalazz

The peaceful walk

2008-05-22T00:07:00.002+08:00

I believe everyone ought to have their own carefree time.. juz by walkin around Singapore. It might be an aimless walk, but yet it could be a fruitful walk too...
Done with the corporate kids class in HPB, almost ended up vomitting teachin them.. bcuz they are around the age of 14-15.... so seein my face becomin so rebellious..... and giggle.. talk.. luff and so on... cant be bothered also.....

Didnt want to go home.. so begin to hang out on my own..... went to catch a movie alone once again.. watched chocolate and Made of Honour.... not bad for both lah.... jz wanna kill them.... and decide to take a breeze walk... so plugged on my earpiece... and blasting loud the music and started walkin from PS to cityhall and finally to Marina Square.... in btw, i did my shopping.. and tada..... bought some fitness apparel.... guess wat.. i am runnin out of the house of blackie-ness... bought a grey top the other day.. and today i bought a light blue full length top.. also bought 2 bra-top and a pair of black pants too...... burnt the hole... gotta stop all these nonsense.....

And finally i landed in PM.. my 2nd home...... finally he is back.. and members were glad to see him too.. classes back to normal..... and guess everyone had a great workout..... we were too busy luffin at one another...... till we really want to shout... wahHAA...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It seems to get better in some way or another..... the amount of appreciation.. thankfulness... watever lah... we finally landed back home after a long day...... tml gonna be another long day... 8hrs of class.... hope i can endure...

9-1pm HPB kids aerobics cum lecture
3.30pm KS
4.30pm KB
7.30pm KB
8.30pm LO

ENDURE ON!!!!!!!!! LONG MARATHON!!!!!

A sparkling star

2008-05-19T20:11:00.003+08:00

For once, i ponder the re-discovery of one'self... Rediscover the strength, rediscover the weakness, rediscover the abilities and capabilities...

I saw myself up dere..... shining...... sparkling... glowing....
The smile, the applause, the encouragement... thank you....

Feverish Sunday

2008-05-19T10:44:00.003+08:00

Almost everyone around me is falling sick, including myself. This isnt a good sign though.
Feeling feverish since thurs and hanging on till now..
But then, we still have to get our classes and performances goin on
A strong front indeed.... with the shivering coldness and trembling feet of ours...

Yest sunday was the performance. Urm, we begin the rehearsal since a month plus back... as usual the fun n laughter. Had my earlier class in thomson. Dragged myself dere. Some regulars were nt present, but thankfully Nancy was dere to brighten up my day. Thank yoU! Did the usual stuffs and tried out the new remix. Cool! But nid some fine tuning, i guess...

Dragged myself over to JP... nice stage or better in style.. did the rehearsal in the studio of JP first.. urm... everyone looked like a stone. Kinda off in form... Feeling weak.. Cough cough cough... Haix... Anyway yeah, we did the performance. Cool!! No fumble or error. All went smoothly. And tada.... it ended well....

But then my hands were trembling and shivering for abt 10mins after the entire performance. Legs wobbly too. Still in the feverish mode and went to mit ben, qy and ben's gf.... nice chat with the whole sotong clan... We were damn blur... really blur!!!

Still cant go home.. nid to replace class upstairs in JP.. KB followed by ABT... the class... i am kinda disappointed lah.. Its like everytime i go and replace.. they are mostly new pple... the usual pple are not dere.. how to improve from dere like tat.... while teachin.. i saw 2 pple from outside.. Charmaine with a member lookin in.. and another one peeping from the back of the class.... but i cant b bothered.. jz wanted to chop chop finish and go home and rest.....

It doesnt feel good to be sick though..... bad feeling.. and upcumin wk.. i am teachin everyday... from mon to sun!!!

Mon KB
Tue CB
Wed Kids Aerobics
Thurs Kids Aerobics, KB, LO
Fri NB, Hilo
Sat Hilo, ABT, 320T
Sun Hilo

Hang on dere....................................= )

CRAPPY FRI!!

2008-05-17T01:01:00.002+08:00

Today is like the 7th day since i begin working on the new remix, yet there are still flaws. SO CRAPPY! Removing bridges, adding bridges, too noisy, no beats, length of song too short, entrance, exit.... SO MANY THINGS NID TO AMEND!!! CRAP MAN!! Wanna give up, but a promise had been made.... *argh*----->>>> ALL THANKS to me for wanting to use all those songs which i like and able to follow.....

Anyway.. i tink i am so bored that i end up rotting at home. Just dont feel like doing anythin.... Change abit of my newbody for today's class. Great response from the members despite crowd is the usual 10+. In fact, i had forgotten what i had taught juz nw. Dont ask me... Oh yah.. it seems that i had jz adopted a new grandson. He is Rita's son. A mix of Indian and Hong Kong. He is cool and handsome. Also, it seems apparently that he only likes to talk and entertain me. While the rest, he din really bother... Haha..... and he actually waits at the door while i am teachin class. Almost wanted to enter the class.. Phew....

Btw, i had fallen sick in some way or another. Caught a flu bug before goin to amore. End up havin abit of difficulty while conducting class. Also, i'm feeling abit feverish too.... demo comin.. classes here n dere.. and everyone is either sick or on leave... cant afford to do anythin...

Isolation

2008-05-13T23:13:00.000+08:00

Its the beginning of my holiday, but why arent i happy?? Cant seem to think of any reason, but then i feel isolated with no feelings... i jz want to be to myself ALONE....

*hidin in a corner*
*starin into the ceiling*
*wantin my own space*

It was a great class. Thanks for the last min opportunity... Everything went as planned or even faster....

My back still hurt... haix...

* i feel like goin drinkin on my own.... BUT BUT...........................*

How are u???

Unhidden thoughts and feelings

2008-05-13T01:36:00.003+08:00

Do you always have feelings that are hidden in ur heart, yet it is never revealed in the public?
Do you ever try to hide ur feelings away from the people whom you dont know and u know?
Do you ever try nt to explain urself and let the others to find out on their own?

SOmetimes, feelings are meant to not to be disclosed.
At times, it would be best for u to keep silent and not to reveal.
Keeping all these feelings as secrets is neither an exposure of ur identity and invading ur privacy.
Its jz a form of secure-ness to urself and ur friends.

I like the feeling whereby both of us are sitting side by side.
Even without uttering a single word
I feel the sense of secure-ness and comfort btw us

For i knew u r dere for me
For i knew i can trust you
For i knew we hold the sense of comfort btw us

Thank you for the friendship that we hold btw one another
Thank you for all the trust
Thank you Thank you and jz Thank you!!!

A sentimental and emotional nite entry jz for every single of my friends...

......................................................................................................

School vacation jz begun.. and i had been slackin... really slackin loh.... watchin videos.. dramas.. almost every thing that i can do.. before my busy life begins.......
Tryin to find activities... but then.... jz refuse in some way

Ended up in thomson early than expected... jz bcuz i had nothin else to do
Wasnt in the correct mode to conduct my classes.... but i dunoe why....
Perhaps there are things out in my mind that are uncleared...
CB.... much better than yest... and fun fun fun!!! Haha.. ended up luffin and smiling.. bcuz someone from WL is dere... and i end up talkin and bitchin abt the wl class...

And she knows abt the situation d other day..... And looks like candy music suits them better... cuz they r "A......". Think i better go find the song... "I luv Candy"....... and play during cool down for them loh... whahAH..... Anyway for kb...... lol.. played a joke on them... cuz they r nt shoutin.. whole hour only hear my voice.. i ask them is my mic spoilt or they shout till too loud till my ears cant hear them.. ended up they were luffin at me... But i like one of the sentences that i use...
"Transfer all ur voices into ur extra energy and push urself on!!".....

And tada... fun session bah.. esp. for the two newcumers... hope to see them again in two wks time..... nxt wk is vesak day.. i replacin class in PM 3.30pm........ anyway.. watched finished 15 episode of hua yang shao nan shao nu within 2 days...... woohoooooooooooo!!! Cumin up next is "it started off with a kiss 2"................................

Busy busy busy.... had yet to memorize the routine for kb demo for upcumin sun.. shucks....
tis wk... will be teachin kb for ALOT OF DAYS..... I MUZ BE MAD!!! Protect my voice.....\

Gd Nite.. 2am.. off to zzzzzzzzzzzz.... ciao~~~ Gotta decide what to do tml.....

sianzzzzzzzzz

2008-05-12T12:47:00.001+08:00

lalalalal...........

pulled my lats muscles...

wake up in pain til nw...

perhaps need to visit doc............

haix...............................

2008-05-11T00:03:00.002+08:00

I was reading one of my friend's blog and i came across this... found this very true... so decide to share with u...

原来人真的会变只是所需的时间是长还是短而已
曾经对某些事很执着随后也会淡然处之
曾经对某些物很重视随后也会搁置一旁
曾经对某些人很在乎随后也会形同陌路
珍惜当下因为人真的会变

In direct translation, it means that people does change, irregardless the time
In the past, you might be clinging onto some matter tightly, but as time goes, the tension is lesser
In the past, you might be very observant and conscious over some matter, but time goes, you will jz cast it aside
In the past, you might be very concerned over someone, but as time goes, this person might soon become a stranger to u
Treasure and cherish your peers as people do change...
.........................................................................................................

Didnt have a very gd day for the past two days.. i mean half of fri and whole of sat......

Started off goin to sentosa with feifei on fri morning... gt my tanning.. but still nt satisfied.. and down to thomson to mit des. for some serious matter... poor babe with her electronic products.. haix.... and then class... NB started off fine i guess... still doin wat is meant to be done... HILO... sorry... i refused to make any comment over here.... i gotta say i am disappointed over 1 particular issue that i cant mention.... no one knows other than me and another impt person from A.F..... i'm jz disappointed basically....

Cumin to sat.... nothin gets better lah.. in fact it worsen... i hate the crowd out dere... only the minority of u... a flock of birds with the stupid same feathers...... picky, choosy, demanding...complaining.. wat else are u all up to..... ni nei nei de........ talkin durin class.... say music too techno.. then change le say no bass.. then expect me to sing..... wassup loh...... try swappin position nxt time round bah...... but lucky the HILO perks me up.. had a fun time.. ended the last session with a YMCA....

Thomson... did the 320T.... guess i am jz very strict with them in somehow or another..... emphasize alot on techniques.... but apparently they were tryin to be responsive.. but still fail in some way or another... had a chat with a member..... then came home and try to be productive... but then things dun really turn out tat well...

BASICALLY my day is shit lah.... haix........................

* You are no longer who u used to be. Or perhaps i am no longer who i used to be. We have all changed, juz like what i mentioned in the main context *

Sometimes, some matters are best to be left unsaid or discussed.
"i jz think you dun have to show ur moral support by coming.... i do appreciate but wats the point when end up u r nt enjoying and expecting wat u should be getting... i have only 2 ears, 2 eyes and 1 mouth... i cant cater to everyone.. at most more towards those who nid them more from me.... CRAP!!!!!!!!!!"

I am tired

2008-05-07T00:29:00.002+08:00

Urm...... tiring day..... eyes r still so painful..... dunoe why... been sleepin enough but then... urm..... tats why gotta stay away fro my comp....

Anyway...... class was great in some way... spend my time luffin during kb... hahA.. all bcuz some dummy acts.......

He passed me a stack of feedback about me from members.... read through.. and got an evil grin..... yup... i tink i am a stone lah... emotionless... wun reveal all out... but deep in my heart... i know the answer..... thanks!

Anyway...... cumin 2 mths.. it gonna be real busy for me... saw my may schedule.... and upcumin june...... and alot of things more cumin up...... some r being given up and so on... i dunoe lah.....

Jiayou bah... i jz slashed 483 Singapore dollars onto a webbie....................... highest price i had ever paid in buyin things..... looks like the money given by the state is nt enough to cover back..... haha... so eatin bread time...

i am gettin fatter n fatter... and roadshow is cumin up........... *SAVE ME*!!!!

Have u grown up?

2008-05-06T16:30:00.004+08:00

Been mugging since 10am till now...... tired... restin.. before my brains gt congested....

I thought u would have woken up
I thought u would have grown up
I thought u would b on ur feet
But i guess i am wrong
U are still standin at the same place, at the same spot...

Why could people be so selfish?
Why could people only think for themselves?
Why cant they put themselves in others' shoes?
Why are they so inconsiderate?

The vulnerability of people
The cruelty of people
The instinct of people
often makes the surrounding people up & down

Time is running up
I dunoe hw long we will last
I dunoe hw long will u'll be beside me
But i jz wanna tell u

........................ (to be continued).................................

These two weeks..... wun b changin my routine... till i guess sat in perhaps..... had been too busy muggin till i am settin my routine aside..... No inspiration and no motivation to tink of any new things..... or perhaps my mind is drifted away..... to all the upcumin exciting events in my calendar......

Numb and dumb

2008-05-06T02:45:00.002+08:00

Feeling numb and dumb.......

Broke the news to them.....

They were happy to hear....

Guess i am happy too....

Tired Tired... but had to keep on goin...... another one more to go.. before i collapse and embark onto my whole list of activities lined-up for the wk.......

Xavier is so cute.... where's ur honda huh??? My small cousin is so cute.... and he's only 4 yrs old.. but super intelligent.....

And last but nt least, happy 83rd birthday to my grandma....= )

WHy am i here?

2008-05-04T14:39:00.002+08:00

Why am i here when i am havin my exams tml? I dunoe... anyway, jz wanna drop by to tag.....

Yeah, so far so smooth i guess... but i am nt prepared for my thurs paper.... somehow jz not...

Classes...fri.. NB and HILO... guess i am enjoyin the classes so far... only phobia is the 8.30pm HILO when i am waitin for the members... sounds scary..... jz hope the nightmare does nt return.....

Sat.... the KB was a shiok one... managed to kill the members out dere...... and HILO.... woohoo.. they were as usual screamin and enjoyin themselves.... phew.....

Had been so lazy or busy till i cant get myself to tink of any routine.. nt even to accommodate to my darling members for my SUN morning 9.30am class..... it was only till i were in the cab to thomson on sunday.... when i begin to tink what am i goin to teach later...... and tada... only at 9.10am... i anyhow wack through a new block of routine.... erm... undescrible of the moves... should it be a hop, a fly or wat.... i also dunoe.... but then i am still enjoying myself and do the members.....

It was really a gd one... and seein the usual whole group... and now the happiest thing is.. the class is gettin more n more crowded with regulars......today gt 14 pple..to others this figure is small.. but to me, its quite a big sense of achievement esp. for the members in TS do not really like to do high impact classe... and and and most of them were enjoying...... yeah yeah..... hope to see them back again at next sun... bcuz only they were the ones who can brighten up the early sunday of mine........ i hate the feeling when i drag my feet to teach class.... but they never fail to disappoint me......

OK lah..... time to head back to my studies..... ciao.................

5 more days to the end of exams... and start of school holidays!!!!

Jiayou le beh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yawnzzzzzzzzzzz

2008-05-01T00:34:00.003+08:00

Thankfully the sleep/nap in the afternoon did helped me abit.... by livening up my spirits..... collapsed onto my mum's bed.... and sleep till i refuse to wake up...... but no matter wat, i still have to pull myself for 1 reason.... HABEN SETTLED THE ROUTINE TO TEACH FOR KB AT 7.30PM... WHILE THE TIME IS OREADI 5PM.... so tada... i am awake lah......

Squeeze squeeze squeeze....and finally manage to get somethin out...... quite satisfied with it... in some way or another..... had been pondering over the qn....... so as i tink of the routine, i begin to tink of the qn...... but heck lah... at times u jz gotta follow ur heart.....

This wk session.... somehow i had begun to relax myself down by goin up on stage and doin what i can... or perhaps i am too focused on my kb routine... till i ended up luffin at my ownself..... dunoe lah.... but then everythin did went smoothly as planned... thats a sense of achievement for myself i guess..... and the smile from the members... there was one ger wearin in green jz standin dere n nt moving.... so apparently.. i cant do much lah... end up coverin over.... and she left....

Anyway, its over also lah..... i enjoyed.. and i hope they enjoyed too..... and lookin forward.............
Now next worry is upcoming sunday HILO...... crossin my fingers... haben tink of my routine.....

Moody mood on~~~~

2008-04-30T13:06:00.002+08:00

Mood in suspense....... *if only you would understand*

* A quiet person has more emotional thoughts than anyone else*

* She needs more attention and support than any others*

* She is gasping for breath on some days*

* A sense of her struggling*

* Will u be there for her?*

*Do you understand?*

SIanzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2008-04-29T23:43:00.002+08:00

Feelin stressed/.... feeling off... feeling uneasy..... feeling weird...

Tml is my 1st paper, yet i am still stoning right in front of my comp at this hour. WHY? I am in doubt.... Crap!!! Having no idea of what am i tinkin.. having no idea of what should be done... Havin no idea of this this tat tat.....

Where is my heart? Drifting to where?? Perhaps Singapore River to join my "sis" there....

Sometimes, you ought to know where should you be? If you were able to avoid somethin, jz avoid.. The lesser you know, in perhaps the better it would be. It doesnt mean that offering your help repeatedly would do you the level of being accepted by others. SOme others may perceive it wrongly. GUess sometimes... "Acting blur is good"... Even you know, u still have to pretend that you dunoe.....

Short session of KB rehearsal... goin smooth..... in some way or another... effective bah... cuz we didnt us any xtra time to correct any movments... most of it were jz on memory work.... quite cool..... Nothin much else to talk about....

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Headache!!!

2008-04-28T23:18:00.002+08:00

Struggling with a bad headache nw... since morning..................

Guess its my fault for sleepin in the evening...... which caused me not able to sleep in the Nite time.... and tada... 4am i am still awake like the owl.... crap!!! Tried means and ways.. but cant get to sleep..... and guess wat.... 8am... bloody hell.. someone sms me... and asked me things.... and tada i am awake... and cant get back to sleep...
Conclusion: WHenever i do not have sufficient sleep, nxt day i would have a bad headache. And if the weather is hot, it will worsen my condition. For example, i feel there are ants inside my head rite now.... Crawling and eating up all my brain cells.... And i am coughin jz nw le.... sign of fallin ill... wth...... losin appetite also.... but then... funni thing.. my weight goes up.... funni loh.......

On the other hand, it was thankful of the class jz nw.... Tink i feel a sense of achievement, esp. for the KB class. For the past few days, i had been busy doin up notes for my exams till i have to panic to tink of routine..... end up i jz whack out 2 new blocks of routine for my HILO/CB classes and 1 Full routine for KB... all within an hour.... its like brain jamming.. but watever lah... somethin jz had to be out......

HILO/CB: Woohooo........... perhaps when things r thought within the shortest time, u tend to get results and in fact greater satisfaction...... managed to do somethin that i had wanted to do... and also the arm movements...... and also, seein the members able to do wat i want them to do...... thats even more happening......... Thanks babes for makin both the SUNDAY morning and MON evening a wonderful one...

KB: Stupid music........ thats my initial remark... guessed somethin is wrong with the mixin of the song... tried the other track and somehow..... its either out of the block..... or there are skipping beats...... swear that i would never use that track again.... either to stick to my usual one.... or use others.... Routine wise..... tried to add abit from the KB demo.... somehow it does work... nt bad.... but nid some fine tuning... i guessed.... adding on, the members of TS is still pretty new to KB... but i could see their efforts.. in fact, most of them had improved since the 1st day..... Didnt have any bonus track today... bcuz some retification nid to be done towards the end... spend 5 mins..... goin through with them the proper way of doin a back kick and the triple side kick..... and thanks goodness that these ladies manage to get what i want... at least they bother to listen...... there r some who jz shut their ears...... hopefully they will remember wat i tell them and show to me at nxt wk....*cross fingers*......

LAstly, kb demo............. did a run-through with bong in the afternoon.. cant believe we only take haf hr........ and managed to finish doin... with some hiccups..... end up i lose lah.... someone managed to do a full solo round without forgettin... but thats only once... till the back....tada.... he keeps forgetting.... wahAHAH... oops... but i am nothin better lah..... cover here n dere..... hope tml would be a better rehearsal... prayin hard that i still able to remember the routine... or else..... i tink i gonna slaughter myself.......

Whats my plan for tml... morning mug mug mug... afternoon 1pm rehearsal... then tink i wun stay long in HQ.... should be goin somewhere to study for my wed morning exams... then EP.... perhaps i would b headin to EP directly.... if nt stay in HQ... see hw things go.... dun like to see so many pple in HQ... too noisy for me to stay dere at times.....

Alrite... enough of stories lah............................. hope tml is a brand new day for me and everyone..... take care all... weather hadnt been gd... students mug hard for exams.... working pple..... stay happy at work.......

*ciao*..........................

Hate exams to the core

2008-04-25T00:00:00.002+08:00

I love to study... i luv to read up books... but i hate to sit for exams and be graded.... I knew that exams is the only way to assess ur ability and test whether had you understand what have u learnt over the modules and etc..... But its jz so factual to me.... i hate it.... always have this dreadful feeling whenever it comes to exams...

While others tell me how much they luv school... how much they cant bear to leave school, i am totally on the opposite lah.... i dun like....... HAIX!!!

ANyway... perhaps the fall on last thurs nite had scared or shocked the members away.... kb when i forget the routine and sent the class spinning on their own... and the LO class... caused the impact of this wk........ ahem... but its jz beyond my control lah.....

Had a good session for KB somehow... tink managed to kill them..... i tink so.... i also dunoe... but i enjoyed despite class size was small... cumin to LO.... dunoe lah... distracted here n dere... wasnt really doin what i want to do... PARTLY THE ROUTINE SUX LAH......... my fault..... sorry lah......
promised to come out with better routine for the upcomin one..... in fact, thought of two new blocks while i was bathin jz nw... damn lame....but i hope its a good or rather a better one.....

Able to bring a smile to someone is in fact one of the good things in life.......
Have to... Have to......

13 more days till holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tiriing week!!!

2008-04-23T22:44:00.002+08:00

Exams are on the way. Had made myself clear that i wont be changin my routine for this wk regardless which class i am going... SO its somehow like if u see me on mon, thurs, fri or sun... i am still workin on the same routine... so pardon me pls.... exams are somehow more impt than any other things else.... its nt really a form of principle that i have.... but students still ought to know the priority of schooling too...

On top of exams, had been busy with the rehearsal for roadshow... its jz 1 performance show.. but we seem to be doing more than what is required... but i do enjoyed the overall process.. esp. with the 3 of them... Bong, Cheryl and Desiree..... Thanks!! So far things been doin good.....

Will be helping bong to cover his KB class in PM for consecutive 4 wks till nxt mth when he returns... definitely some pple might be disappointed that he wasnt teaching... but apparently there are pple who do not have the smallest heart of giving the chance for the replacement instructor.... They jz disappear and the room looks so different..... but i wun blame them lah....

At least for 1 very clear thing... i know that i have done a relatively good job in doin the class..... at least to me, its a good workout... not by seeing the members panting... more towards that i still get to see the members smiling... as usual.. they dun shout... but its nothing beyond my control.....

This is nt the 1st time i have said this too.... they werent my members... so its natural that they will give u a second look when they see u up on stage..... the kind of doubt.... but when you start to take them for class... the face is more relaxed and u began to see them smiling... guess that is somethin that will ease an instructor like me bah.... at least i know they r trying their best.... so dun tink that they are nt shouting.. meaning that they are not with u.... there is still a level of connection holding btw us... u ought to understand......

Adding on, by treating everyone equally in the class is pretty much wat i have been doing in class.... i cant explain why... but it had nothin to do with fairness or so.... but then i know that i tend to show more concern over the weaker students/ members in the class.... is it a right thing?? I guess different pple have different views and opinions in perhaps...... Could it be because i had been a weak student before.. so i understand the feelings of them???? Perhaps so bah......

Lastly, i feel that all of us have our stand....... be it where do u stand... as long as you have the stability... you are there..........

P.S: Exams are on the way... 15 days more to vacation... Had planned my 3 mths holidays... seem gonna be a fruitful one... i dunoe... we shall see.......

To A: I juz wanna be myself.....
To B: I hope all things are doing good for u
To C: I hope you wont think so much
To D: I hope you are happy
To E: I hope you understand what i feel
To F: I wish you are not xxxxx of me

There is hardly the punctuation called full-stop in my life... Its comma and comma. Bcuz my life is always filled with excitement and emotions.... And the term of full stop means everything had cum to an end.... So we have to move on...... Stop acting like a kid at times!!! Stop whining!!! You gonna grow up!!!!!

BUsy lately...

2008-04-18T00:17:00.002+08:00

Had been real real busy lately.... mostly tied down by projects... guess i am conquering the champion of iron-woman in some ways or another.... beginning to see the true world of an instructor cum a student.... Its not easy i can tell u.....

She gotta juggle between school and work... School is oreadi taking quite abit of her time.. classes... 8 permanent classes.. with replacement classes... jz last mth... she took and attended a total of 87 classes.... which is astonishing........ if she is nt schoolin... i guess the figure is 3 digits.... but so far she is coping well.. i guess.... perhaps for the fact whereby she is getting positive and constructive feedbacks...... somehow... its real true that one's motivation will become ur inspiration... you would be inspired to move further and step and extra step.......

Anyway... why am i blogging... damn simple.. tis clumsy instructor called weishi...had a real bad day on 17th april 2008. Nothing seem to go right.. even from the start of the week... i guess so..... tinkin that her brain was unofficially declared brain dead.. cant tink of new routine..... till today...... at EP.....

Forgot the whole KB routine right from the start of the class... really forget... dun remember wat to do.. and worst thing is mind was in a state of concussion... blank..... and jz do watever she could ever think.. thankfully the baby i'm on fire managed to get the members together... if nt i am in damn shit scenario....... apologies..... but i really tried my best......

CUmin to the LO class....urm urm urm............................ WEISHI HAD A GREAT FALL OFF THE STUPID HIGH STAGE...... till she shocked herself and the members for a few seconds... the stage is like the level of 2-3 staircase height.. in fact, its one of the few highest stage in Amore... and she jz stepped back.. and into the air... and tadaaa............... off she is down off the stage... letting her knees slamming hard against the ground... damn painful....... but thankfully.... no injuries.... other than 2 big blue black on the left knee.... lucky she is still in 1 gd piece.... phew phew.........

but the scenario is still fresh in my mind..... i cant imagine... such a big piece person.... can fall off..... and instructor some more......... so diao.............. be careful in the next time round....

Oh yah..... i jz cleared my last project tis afternoon... nw is like i only goin to begin preparing for my 1st exam paper which is scheduled on next next wk.... less than 14 days... bless me.... wish me.... jiayou lah......

Take a chance on me...

2008-03-30T00:07:00.002+08:00

Yah... i am back.. another 5hrs of class teachin on a sat.... damn tired and shagged.. seriously... never felt this before.. jz feel like collapsin on my bed.....

Morning...in PM.. replacing bong's class. Guess its a good opportunity that i would grasp. At least i am able to try out on the fast paced class, where it is the style of turns and so on. Started off NB. Rather a serious class today. The usual regulars were nt present. I mean the front 2 rows people. Come a group of pple that i din usually see. BUt one of the china lady was present. And some others that i know. And iris too. Thanks for the presence, feedback and etc. Thank you.

Coming to 1030am which is a class that i am lookin more toward... saw a familiar face. Carine was here. Didnt really anticipate anyone of bong's members to turn up though, bcuz i know if bong is nt teaching and if they knew it, they will not show up. But she showed up, and i am jz caught by surprise. Thanks! Some other members were here too. Nt sure whether were they aware that bong was nt teachin or wat. Started off the class.. alrite i guess.... managed to "warm up" the members abit.... keep them movin on. And members begin to smile and relax, before pre-stretch... partly i forget one part ah.. oops.... and one thing warmed my heart also the smile tat cum fro carine's face. Can see that she is smiling, enjoying.. and also making some "noises" to liven the class up, together with vanessa. Thank you.....

Had did almost what i have planned for the class.. in fact i add in additional one more block.... i am pretty much satisfied with myself bah. Cuz of the turns and spins and moves and etc. At least i try... at least i do.. at least i know..... thanks for the chance, opportunity and everythin.. and definItely the feedback cumin fro members at the end of the class...

" I enjoyed the class juz nw" "Thanks for the great workout!" "Your instructions are clear" "You showed much more confidence than last time".....

guess all these encouragement are impt for pple like me... so that i can keep on moving.. didnt manage to catch up with carine... but would be glad to hear some feedback fro her on a face to face manner... ultimately they have been doin aerobics for so many yrs and such feedback are essential....

Back in thomson... i am abit drained off.. i dunoe why... i know i wasnt to myself... abit lost... but i jz pull myself on... i have to endure..... and finally lasted the 3 hr... freakin long......... damn tiring... kill me.. nxt wk another one...... DUnoe hw to comment lah.... but then i have tried...

Finally once again.... i jz wanna say thank you thank you and thank you to each and every single one of you. ...

Most impt... u are happy.. i am happy.. which is the most impt factor... Thanks!

Have a great wkend ahead... i have to finish rushin a project in 2 nite of 2500 words.. wish me luck......ciaozzz

I dont wanna go home.........

2008-03-27T23:21:00.004+08:00

What am i feeling? How am i feeling? I gotta say i am not doing good..... perhaps stressed... perhaps overworked... perhaps this.. perhaps that lah.... i got no idea..... or i am jz tinkin too much AGAIN!!!

1) I dont wanna go home
With an additional person in my family, i feel a level of constraint, restriction and many other types of problems. She hinders my activities. She is looking at every individual member with another eye at times. She is gossiping us to other people. And we are giving more than 110% of our time to her. But, now... if i can, i choose to return home late so that i can face her lesser. Some how some of the other family members also. It is such a saddening case. Do u understand?

2) Everyone is not there
Feeling lonely and sianz. EVeryone is not there. For the very first time, my thursday is so different without all of them. No you, no you, no you........ where r u? I only have him, but not for entertainment. For towards like talkin work related stuffs. As usual. Draggy, pulling myself.... only time i enjoy is the final thursday CB or bugis class that i have just now.... I jz felt so emotional just now... Juz wanna enjoy myself to the last beat of the music. Perhaps i wont get to see the BJ pple any time again le. Kinda missed them becuz the class was the place which groomed me up as an instructor in perhaps. The place where i took my first warm-up and get the "hang" out of the whole instructor life. Now having to give up, I am feeling reluctant. But life had to move on. ANd so do I.

SOmetimes something are better to left unsaid... ......... .................... .......................

Missing everyone's presence. missing you abit here and dere. Missing the fun, joy and laughters that we used to have. BUt no matter what happen, the earth is still turnin round and round, and life gotta move on. ....

Gd News cumin in together at the same timing

2008-03-23T01:27:00.002+08:00

Woohoo.. i guess i am a happy and a tired ger jz for today.. sat.... ended the day by doin 5.5hrs of classes.. i can never imagine... and tml i gonna endure for another 2.5hr... my throat is almost killing me... but i still gt to pull on.... yeah......

went over to woodlands to cover the class... KB.. started off abit weirdly.. everyone is like not with me.. cant bring them "high high".. its juz so different as the classes that i took in EP. But gladly, after the warm up or close towards the end of class... i manage to bring them up to the peak. They were like gaspin and panting for breath. And gd thing is they were able to catch the move despite abit lost. Thats something that i am happy for myself, i guess. ABT was even more happening. I dunoe why i ended up talkin lame jokes with them. Abt easter day, chocs, holidays, achievement and anythin that comes to my mind. Diaoz... Lastly, HILO... urm... i wun say its a bad class. But bcuz wl is an outlet that dun like turning.. end up cant do much. But then, gt quite a number of positive feedbacks from the members. As usual, there will b pple askin me where am i teachin. And etc.. And as usual, i say pls pen them down and submit to the mgt. They will review and see hw things go. I cant control though... And create another amazing record. KB 48 pple! Woohoo!!!

Back to thomson, i guess other than my own 320T class, i wasnt as happy as for the other two classes. Urm, it is jz so different i suppose when i cover pple classes. Its always of the extreme ends. How receptive are they towards you. Some pple come in thought it was him, but it wasnt. They are not willing to give u a chance. They glue their eyes to you. They dun smile and respond to you. They attitude you. They stand there nt moving. They are juz xxx. In my mind, i know wat i can do. Chop chop finish chop chop go.

But yet on the other hand, there are some who thought it was HIM, but found out was me, still give me the chance by attendin. Thanks to such pple. Gladly, they enjoy the class and came forward to tell me their comments. Its a pleasure for me to cover and take them, and definItely letting them to know me too.

Lastly, two good impt news, i guess.... as usual, it gotta do with classes. Firstly, i would be helping xxx to cover the class on xxx dates. Perhaps i din expect that lah, thats why i am happy over it. Cuz i guess it jz never cross the mind of us that this will happen. But thank you lah. Bcuz seriously since the attachment period, i miss takin the class in these areas. And got a call from xxx. Different person though. PErhaps this is a gd or sad news. I dunoe. I would be attendin the last class on upcumin wk. Cuz i would be embarkin into a new journey. I tink what i want had cum true. Finally. Thanks to him! Had wished to have another class in another outlet. And finally here it goes. I am glad, happy, overjoyed. Everything bah! Gotta treasure it lots.

Gotta be real busy... i guess so..... for the nxt few wks... rushin projects projects and projects... killing me softly.... and also then exams.... tis is so shitty.... everything all in at one go........... PLS PLS PLS.....

GO GO GO!!!!!!!

BUSY BUSY BUSY!!! GO GO GO!!!

2008-03-22T01:26:00.002+08:00

Alright, it seems that it had been quite a few days since i last blogged. Really trying hard to recall what has been going on over the wk.. becuz i jz i feel i had been zonked out, fused out, or whatever out. I had turning into a zombie sooner or later.

Helped jade to cover her tues morning class. Apparently, her class is indeed different from the rest when i replace for her. I dunoe hw to explain the feeling, but her members are abit funni in the sense. But generally its quite alrite. And guess what, eventually i came back home and rot. IN fact, if i did not remember wrongly, i had a nap. Supposingly to finish up my assignment and etc, i ended up sleepin jz to rest my body. Feel that i nid it badly. So tada... i am lying on my bed til 4-5pm... which draws me to the time to head for EP. HahA, bcuz of someone, ended up that i had not taken the CB class. Let him take ah, since he enjoy taking the class so much... Oops... then i can jolly well do my stuffs also... He tried implementing some moves for the KB. Good application i would say so, so that i can review on my techniques. Everything seems so different....

Wednesday... this is juz a different wed... i dun like loh... frankly speaking..... bcuz there is no training in the morning.. which means i can sleep late again.... then goin to school is true for tutorial.. ended up doin a solo presentation as my partner was late... and goin for an hr lecture instead of 2... rushin down to science park.. alightin at the wrong bus stop... and eventually meeting up this group of ladies who is not takin the class seriously by chatting among one another in their bloody hell own language.. being late.. and etc... i cant imagine they would jz walk in and out of the studio as and when they like.... also, they are jz throwin their hands in both kb and nb....... abit hell..... but then i jz teach and head home straight... HOW I WISH I WERE IN PM AT 7.30PM..... at least i get to enjoy wat i like to do other than handling the bunch of bitchy ladies.. and not to forget to mention... the staff who are not friendly where i have to make my way to the studio.. find the switch.. do the set up.. and no mic...... hell hell hell......

Thurs.... apparently its always meant to be my favourite day.. but it also didnt go smoothly as planned..... supposingly to reach school early or on time.. guess wat.. i ended up waiting close to 35mins for the bus... and guess wat.. it was packed and i cant hop on and gt to wait for the nxt one.. yet on the opposite lane, 6 buses return back to the terminal with 3 at the same timing, 2 at the other timing and 1 on the other..... and i ended up reachin school 20mins later.... and tis is not the end yet..... i went to the wrong lecture hall...... diao.. but ended up chatting with a guy fro my tutorial group... he was like disturbin and askin me whether was i bored.. as i am drawing pictures on my lecture notes as usual.......

Head to PM... supposingly to meet debbie.. but then... due to some unforeseen circumstances.... will only be mitin her after she returns...... ahh...... hope she enjoys herself.. hehe..... classes.. 3.30pm.... nt bad lah.. at least he is back to his old self... nt doin some weirdo things..... kb... slightly different.. but i was gaspin for air.... blockage on my throat...... then didnt want to do much.. so anyhow wack le........ perhaps i am sianz lah... u know u know..... people get bored also..... and had dinner.... chat... before goin over to bugis.... to attend bong or in fact is sasha's class...... Yeah! finally i gt to attend this ger's class after so long....... tis time round she is more relaxed as compared to the previous. Thats a gd news... if based on beginners is oreadi a gd thing as it is not easy to handle members, ESPECIALLY his members..... they could be demanding ah.... so dun take it too hard on urself.. jz enjoy and luff ur way through.....

Lastly, fri...... spend my time restin in fact.. had lunch with claudia.. unplanned one.... chatted with her.. exchange routine.... i tink i can never do her routine.. but she is ever creative unlike me ah...... mine is pretty much the standard one..... i knew it for myself... but then.... its jz such a form.... i am who i am lah.....

lastly, a good news.... i finally tame myself at 12.20am by sitting in front of this laptop typing my report for changing landscape project.... woohoo.................... and i got the introduction out.... finally.. left another part before i submit to my partner... hahA.. he called me when i am sleepin.. and i am so blur and lost...... until he cannot stand it.. and tell me to get back to him when i wake up... i feel so bad loh... so tada.........................

Tml and Sunday a long long day... guess wat.......
SAT: 9.30am KB WL, 10.30am ABT WL, 11am HILO WL, 2.30pm 320T, 3.30pm KB, 4.30pm KS (almost all are xiong classes)
SUN (9.30am HILO, 2pm KB, 3pm ABT) phew....

and nxt wk is the same thing.......

Cross fingers that i would survive wor....................................... hahA... iron-woman cuming....... jiayou jiayou jiayou for all....

semester cumin to an end.. i might be takin MALAY during the special semester.... hahA... mayb i ended up marryin a malay guy... lol... kiddin ah........

2008-03-17T00:32:00.002+08:00

HAd insonmia last nite once again.. i am still awake at 3plus... and i am supposed to wake up at 7am... shucks.. tis is so terrible..... then i was struggling so badly..... in keepin myself awake..... then went over to bishan... urm... morning class was fun of the day... partly.. its the sunday class ah.... and nancy they all were dere too.. with the screams and shout... a fun day to go....

then watch step up2.... nt bad lah... i wun say its a gd show... cuz the only part i enjoy is the last 10mins... when they tell everyone what is street dance all about... WE NID TO LET EVERYONE KNOW the presence of us. All of us come together, regardless where we come from.. but all with a common goal.. and they were finally being accepted by everyone... its quite touching...

back to PM...... LO..... not bad lah... i wun say its a drastic one... but it wasnt a bad one too.. get to do wat i want to do.. din have time and dun really want to do baby mambo..... dunoe why... sianz...mayb....no kick or feeling.......

then nb...... i am abit unhappy lah...... but cut all the crap... dun wan elaborate.... but the members r nt bad...... and gd thing... my shoulders are better.. can rotate back le.....

haix.... i dun understand some stuffs.....selfishness.. isolation... ego...... emotions... and everythin about human...... Are human really that ruthless? Are human emotion-less? Are human tat bad? I wish i am those who is come and go come and go........................................

N I C E ????

IS IT NECESSARY???

A form of replication

2008-03-15T20:06:00.002+08:00

The pain didnt subside away... Still in pain.. though its better than yest.... but haix.... out of no where... why would i have injured my arm? Why why why? I dunoe i dunoe i dunoe...... argh... crap lah!!!!

Anyway.... nt much to update bah...... fri classes.. instead of havin van in my class.. it was debbie.. its jz so different in some way...but i am glad she is havin fun though... had a gd chat with her.. its been like so long... and generally nt bad despite a drama happened unexpectedly.... a lady actually tripped on herself while doing pony back... and she fell to the floor... generally i can see her in great pain.. and everyone did stop immediateLy... jz to see... but the class had to get goin... so press bell.. called mse.. and so on... really scarly lah.... and the class was in a state of shock.. nt so much laughter... but thankfully... it managed to get better after the second half.... such issue jz happen unexpectedly..... hope i did manage the situation well......

Saturday... bcuz of the pain in the shoulder.. didnt go for BB.... erm.... he did back the same routine..... its a challenging.. mind conscious routine..... most of the members were spendin time tryin to recall and memorize the moves... end up the atmosphere was pretty tense.. which is similar to tues and thurs case..... urm......

He looks tired n worn out.. or emo..... i dunoe....

went over to PS and makan with debbie and we chatted once again.... yup... and gt a call.... and so on.. before i head off to thomson to teach the back2back three classes..... I GONNA DO THIS FOR 1MTH>>>... FREAKIN LONG>>>>> bUT i tink i can sustain....

320 was a good session today. How do i define it? I saw the sense of satisfaction and accomplishment in taking the class in perhaps. Seeing the members able to do the steps, seeing the members able to catch up and follow.. and most impt, seeing the members able to learn things at the end of the class really brightens me up..... and i jz have my ways in teachin 320, which is very different from the rest... I GUESS.. esp. in kicks... only the class knows.....

KB... some of rasol's members were present... but nt a stress factor for me...... nt bad.... tiring session.... and they do shout for me.... tats something gd.... and nxt wk nid to add in something more intense... i guess so..... cuz they could be pushed a level higher as compared to the monday crowd.......

KS.... i almost went blank during the class... tink shortage of sugar... so i got the class to do from the top.. before i went to drink lots of water... and change off sculpting to all static... bcuz i feel i am not doin good le... thankfully all things go welll.... and stay back awhile and teach someone hw to do easy walk turn.... its jz like tat ah....

Lastly, thanks catherine... for the 2 choc muffins... they r nice.... urm.. given by a member fro thomson.. quite shocked when she passed the box to me jz before we begin KB..... sweet of her... thanks.. perhaps i din anticipate bah...... but it jz happen......

before finishin off this entry..... i been tinkin somethin after the chat with her yest.... urm.... replication.... is it true that we have alot of you inside A. now?? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Somehow i feel its a bad thing in somehow.. bcuz u r no longer unique and solo. Last time, in perhaps pple or others knoW u r unique as u r different from the rest. But with more pple who are like you, it makes them so similar even though it may not be exactly the same.... People have more options and choices too.... And as you move up a level, will everyone be able to follow? I DUNOE....

Abit in doubt.. abit in suspense. I am findin myself right now. I still wish that my hope will b valid in the nxt round. I dun want to be trapped in the same venue. I DUN WANT!!! = (
May i recover fast.

IF only i can capture myself and cum and go jz like you....... IF ONLY!!!

WOohoo.. its thurs

2008-03-14T00:29:00.002+08:00

Yeah... its a thursday..... ever a memorable day i guess.... past two days had been rather a zombie or lazy day for weishi... she jz din want to move her body.. lazy like a pig.....

Btw, i am in a happy mode right now. Reviewin back what happened over the two days.

Took a corporate class at THE TREASURY. Woohoo.. its fun and enjoyable. The pple r nice too. Yeah.... and there were guys. Not bad, at first they were not able to follow. But subsequent, they were able to... Cool... We ended the day taking photos as well... Fun experience ya..... and bcuz of such, I am caught in the rain repeatedly. So crappy right. And my ipod drops on the floor during the rain too... CRAP! Rushed back for KB.... and then nt bad, but tues routine was better..... and this this that that.....

THURSDAy... Went to school with my eyes haf closed...... pretty tired..... also dunoe why.... been havin insonmia recently... haix.... then went over to PM... urm.... something happened...... haix.... nt much to say.... then wanted to modify new routine... and use studio.. who kNows.. someone came so early to PM... and decided to let him use the studio privately. Dun like to share it with someone else when we are usin two different genres... he doin HIP HOP and i doin aerobics... WTH!! so ya..... thats it man... but i managed to sneak in eventually...... and use for 15mins.... nid to settle some moves.....

KS.... urm..... this wk routine..... its jz different from what he usually did. Nt his usual self. Guess he is too tired le. Can see from the movements. KB.... slightly modified fro yest... nt a drastic change. But due to the rain, i jz cant execute out properly.... and so i jz did the class with minimum force.... only till the last track.... HOWEVER!!!! I FOUND 2 BLUE BLACK ON MY KNEES.... should be due to the last track...... i hit my knee so hard.. till i saw two big thing.... AH!!!! This is the 1st time i saw the blue black... diaoz.....

Then replaced Fiona or in fact is claudia class... KS.... its been a long time since i replaced HILO at other branches.... others are LO or in fact are off-peak crowd...... suzanne attended my class... i tink i am far too happy till i forget she is in the class... i jz ended up luffin and smiling.. perhaps also for the fact that everyone answer me back when i seek a reply.. Thanks to all.... includin vanessa....... hahA....

ended my day.. havin dinner with baby vanessa in sakae... lolx...... i am apologetic that my voice is always that HIGH pitch.. i cant go as LOW as ur mojie sharon lah...... if nt i dunoe wat am i talking... wahAHHAHA... will be a laughin stock by then.. whahAHa... a very filling dinner and i enjoy it greatly... thanks yA....

Alrite.. thats about all... Upcoming two wks.... alot of things to settle....

3 projects undone.. routines to tink of... and endless sleep to catch.... i am off.. gd Nitex....

A monday blue

2008-03-11T00:20:00.003+08:00

I guess all of us hold a monday blue-ly day... Didnt wanted to wake myself up from bed today. Partly for the fact i slept at 4am last nitE>.. sorting out my music.... reformat my itunes, ipod.. almost everythin... all thanKs to the new hard disk that i have jz purchased...

But i still dragged myself off to class.... it juz dont appear good to me if i go for the training and not the class. Perhaps its jz one of my own principle. Wth hell rite.. Weird lame principle. Or could tis be a form of gratitude? Goin for classes in return for trainin? I guess so.... How would i have explained the class? In short, i feel it could be better. Perhaps we r all tired. Tend to forget routine, do the same thing... and etc.... We could be lazy at times. ...oops... hw i wish i could jz laze around, doing nothing... no nid to tink this and that....

COntinued on with the training.... focus wasnt on me for today... but then i feel today i am doin good in some way or another. ABle to do what i cant do during last week. But nid to be faster and agile. Too fat to move maybe.. or jz too lazy lah....

Wanted to attend donald kb... but the blue-ly day is stoppin me from doin so. Jz wanna laze around... and leave for thomson earlier.. and thats hw we went... donald tried to stop me and ask why din i join in.. he brought handmitts into the class.... perhaps nxt wk bah.... then see hw... cuz i dunoe hw far can my legs carry me to........

Thomson classes.... perfect 10 bah...... as in attendance for both. Perhaps for the rain.. or i dunoe.. but then CB... tried the new move... erh.. nt bad... i still tryin to improve in the softening.... really tryin. but my stiffy body seems to b movin on a different direction from me.. But jz gotta move on on n on bah...... gt distracted by a lady who stand in the centre on class.. directly behind me.. totally lost in the whole class.. tinkin when one cant follow when i did haf time for step touch... hw r they goin to follow durin the rest of the class... so basically..i dunoe wat they r tinkin... hope she is fine bah......

Heard some gd stuffs from members today...... Yeah.. tink i nid all these small little notes to sparkle and brighten me.. and peek me up...... At least i knOw i am progressin.... i can feel and sense it.. some way or another... in fact, i guess i ought to thank donald for lettin me to cover the classes while he is away. Bcuz i feel i have learnt much more when i am conductin the class now... Much better than last time.. but could be better...

Wasnt as emo as last fri.. haHa... guess we have all grown up..... time to move on and proceed.... hahA.. thankfully someone din sob today... or else i dunoe hw to handle again.. buy her a pail... in perhaps.. lol..... anyway....Wun get to do a "show-time" tml.... cant pple be more decisive in their decisions at times..... but then i got my plans...... few more wks then.... hopefully by then........

Alrite.... life gotta move on.. and so do u and i....... so lets not think but move on!!!!!

Why am i here?

2008-03-09T01:28:00.003+08:00

Why am i bloggin at 1.30am when i have an early class at thomson tml morning? I got no idea basically.
This wk... have been rather peaceful and quiet. Perhaps no training and everyone is busy. Wed and thurs are slightly different as compared to previous wks or so. Determination does plays an important factor when cumin to classes. U know, i know..... u cant afford to challenge us.... or else u will find silence in the class.... hahA...... its jz so funny and weird basically.....

Messed up abit thurs Ep class in the evening kb... hahA.... i dunoe why also.... suppose to do this.. then end up... somethin jz nt right... but thankfully class was patient with me.... and smile back to me ah..... and managed to close all the 3 wks of thur in EP happily...... in fact, i kinda missed the class... perhaps i really enjoyed myself alot.... yEAh!!!

fri was more or less an emo day for me..... i know i wasnt to myself... esp. in class... try the new cd.... one word WEIRD to describe.... tink i wun b usin that cd for these few wks... or mths... till i work out somethin on it.... argh!!!...... crap man!!! she's leavin.. she found a new full-time job. IN some way, i am happy for her.. yet on the other hand, i feel weird without her beside me during class... contradicting right. But thats hw life is... it is never fair though...... wish her all the best bah....

sat... which jz ended less than an hr ago..... had been rather great...... started the day at PM.... my muscles are achin.. yet i still drag myself dere... i also gt no idea... perhaps i jz nid to pull myself up.. some way or another.... then as usual lah..... then CB... ahem..... today dunoe is i am givin attitude or wat... i jz wanna stand behinD...... and be in my own world... hahA..... jz do my own things... thanKfully no newcomer.. so class was rather fun..... even though i am behind....

And then... nothin much.. had my lunch and went over to thomson for class..... 2 new faces..... didnt stay long.. cuz goin over to suntec IT SHOW to look for my ex manager n stuff.... goin to spend 700 in less than 12hrs time... on a camera and an external hard disk...... and nxt mth.. another 700 gone for my special semester module.... such a big hole in my pocket......

COming to an conclusion....... i knOw i am tinkin..... tinkin of wat.. i dunoe... but i am thankful for myself in havin a busy lifestyle.... till i knOw i am useful as a form of resources.

It's SHOW TIME!!!!! I gotta show....!!!!

1.41am.. gd Nite....

Tired

2008-03-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

I feel like a corpse, since monday nite or in fact is tuesday morning....

Had a gd day on monday in fact.... cuz remember after attitude-ing someone over the wk.. jz make me dun feel like taking the monday 3.30pm KB... and i jz wanna withstore my energy till evenin before i blast it all out...... tats why i din lah.....

then tues morning gt test... then in fact i really only study on monday nite.. past few days quite emo... dun feel like muggin.... in fact was whinin to someone.... haix... then sleep for abt 4hr...... so went to school in a zombie face..... haix.....

then dily daly.... and then finish paper... i feel i can do the paper... i dunoe why..... seems quite alrite for me... perhaps its human geo bah....... then went to PM put bag and stuff.. small details nt to mention.... major things are....... i am so tired that i almost feel asleep inside studio.... but i kNow i had collapsed down.... jz dfeel damn tired n off basically......

then wed..... urm....... school and kb basically...... tats it.... gd session...... thats wat i can conclude..... thank you.....

What am i thinkin???

2008-03-03T01:37:00.002+08:00

What am i really thinking? I really got not much idea.

Perhaps over the wk, i am fumed with flames over someone's actions. Somehow i feel like i am juz like a lost bird in perhaps. Yes, from one surface you are real good, helping and assisting. Yet on the other hand, i feel a sense of ignorance from you. Or in fact, it has become a form of ignorance from me? What do you determine the word of responsbility? Being responsive for what you are doing? Acknowledging the work of others? How would you determine?

I am somehow caught in the state of loss. In fact, its also more towards stress as well. The tension is really UP for me. I guess so, cuz its visibly seen by the amount of chocolates that i have been indulgin over the few days. A big bar a day. It gonna kill me sooner or later. Juz like yest, while tryin to catch some sleep, i begin to ponder. Is it necessary for you to be creative in terms of routine in order for pple to acknowledge and respect you and luv your class?

I admit and conclude that i am one who arent creative bah. My routine more or less is based on hard work and try an error. From small bit to here n dere and i figure things out on my own. How do you define what is called a creative routine? I dont know. You say its complicated but no explanation said. But thanks for the feedback. While seeing how others go, i knoW i am really different from them. In many ways, but 1 thing for sure i know I AM NOT GIVIN UP ON MYSELF.

I were sharing with Vanessa about me teachin 3 days of HILO in 4 days at the same venue. How would others see me? Most of them might be different members, but there are some who are same too. I make my best effort by changin abit here n there of my routine jz to ensure i dun get bored out of it. I also tried changing it every single wk. But what are all these for? Myself? The members? Or who??? I dunoe..... but then i am still trying and trying....

Everytime i make up my decision, something jz hit me and stop my path. Went to thomson today in a down mood after all the thinking... but the sunday class is alive once again. They really know hw to brighten me up and cheer me up. Really gotta thank them. I guess so.

Would you rather want your routine to be simple, ur members smiling and able to do it easily? Or would you prefer your routine to be complicated, but can follow, yet with a bit of difficulty?
Or would you prefer your routine to be creative, yet only a minority of the members can follow and do well?
Where would you want to place yourself to be? Are you asking these questions to urself? Its not easy to create a routine that is simple, creative, yet it also adds in elements of complications and members can do well. Seeing the members smile, seeing the members shout and scream and communicate with you during the class is really a different experience. But how can u really get to do this? How?

School school school... wat the hell is school....... another 15mths of endurance.. another 15 months of pondering... another 15 mths of waiting...... i hope my patience can last me till now...... my mind is mixed up......

i dun feel like goin anywhere..... i jz wanna be to myself.. and be quiet bah..... i hate the feeling of such once again........subdue me if u can....................................

I WANNA BE ALIVE ONCE AGAIN!!! HABEN TINK OF NEW ROUTINE AND MOVES>>>>> DAMN SIANZ>>> SHIT.... TMR HOW???

head big!

2008-02-22T11:02:00.002+08:00

dunoe wat to type.... but then i tink i nid to sleep..... only have 2.5hr of sleep last nitE.... till now still stoning...... later presentation..... sianz.... headache also/..... crap!!!!

Btw, hope sasha feeling better. Wasnt around to attend her class..... urm... we cant foresee wat will happen.... we cant predict as well... but then gotta relax and enjoy the whole procedure......

Letting things go by naturally.
Letting your body to flow like attending class.
Letting your mind and soul to calm.
And we gotta move on and on......

Hugs Hugs..................... we'll be fine......= )

I AM FREAKIN TIRED

2008-02-16T22:12:00.002+08:00

Juz discovered that i had not blogged for a week... how cum?? Guess i am juz too busy or tired in perhaps.. I dunoe.... in any way... life is still as usual after CNY...... classes are up as usual.. nothin much...

Aerobics are up and fun as usual... everyone shout and scream during the class.. could really see that they were enjoyin the movement.... yeah! NB for fri... more regular faces... and everyone is improving.... at the same time, intensity is up up up too.... something to be happy over bah.... nxt month goin to change NB routine.. after 3 mths of seasonin.... I HADNT PLAN.... so stay tuned.... KB...... urm.... i might nid to do 2 different routine....... THOMSON one.. i ought to bring down the intensity and do ALOT more repetition.. Van.. if u r seein this... sorry.... that u nid to do more repetitions... dun complain ah.....i have no choice.... then the other normal routine is left for replacement classes.... yup... see hw things go... but till now generally everythin is in the right pace.... thank you!

School.... projects are up... readings... I CANT WAIT FOR THE RECESS BREAK... I REALLY NID IT.... to catch back my readings......... then also to take a break off NUS.....

Then back to attending classes... found out condition wasnt real good recently.... i mean the form... cuz i spend alot of time correcting myself.... in doin the correct thing.. and tryin to find myself.... and when instructor is down.. automatically as member u will be affected..... and ya... tis happened lah.. but provided u have to feel it..... urm... what can i say... wish u to cheer up and be happy naturally..... deep fro the heart and not from surface.. cuz it wun be nice if u r sad..... lalalal....... takin ur routine and modifyin.. tats wat i have been doin while attendin other pple class.....

GOT NEW MOVES...... i dunoe hw to describe.. quite sensual.... touch butts la... touch urself... in fact is watch ah long movie.. and gt 1 move.. and slowly build up fro it.. and got the idea of touchin urself..in fact was bcuz last time i saw jade do....and build ideas on.... so got vanessa to teach me. and help me with it... cuz she damn pro with all these things.... hahHAHAHA........
then modify modify.. till nw still changin...oops.....

then sasha bd... guess i cant plan that well... got the pple since last sat.. then tis tis tat tat... end up... erm.. final plan din turn out so well.. cuz the ger went over the other side... gotta work out something else.. sorry ger... if u have anticipated more..... hope u do like it..... hugs hugs... muackz...

SUN woohoo.... hilo

2008-02-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

SUN is always my favourite day... i guess.. esp. in classes..... created a new routine for my HILO... but then slightly did an error in the thomson class..... then from start.. i also dunoe wat am i doin.. wasnt enjoyin myself fro the start... I FEEL SO LOST!!! but then.. i have to hang on.. pretend that i am OK.. and keep goin... try to end the class earlier... partly for the fact that i nid to rush to kovan.. but also for the fact.. i dun wan to drag the class...... esp. when i am nt enjoyin the routine..... urm.............. but i am ok lah....

Woohoo............ as usual... pple tend to doubt replacement instructors... esp. for those whom they have yet to see b4... but i dun blame them ah.... cuz its normal..... then begin the class with warm up as usual.. and gradually the class got "warmed-up" too... begin to get high high high... and they begin to scream and shout in the class... and can see they are enjoyin loh...... hope the class is enjoyable.. cuz i really enjoy it greatly...... and its pretty tiring!!!! hehehehe........

LAstly..... then back to BJ...... urm...... LO class... hahA.... nt bad lah.. based on the standard.... knee abit pain.. but keep endurin on... then had to pretend again.. argh... then stayed on for donald's pilates... hahA.. i miss his pilates...... really loh................ so long never do............... slightly some changes.. but i still like pilates....

basically...... its like tat........ was watchin a show... it wrote: how often do you compliment others?"... everyday? once a while or never????? do you praise them face to face? or behind them??? its for all to reflect...... cuz there is no right or wrong answer....= )

happy new yr

2008-02-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

Happy new yr to all the ones who r readin my blogs... cny. ... a festive season that i look upon to for this yr..... not bcuz i gt to collect ang bao... but bcuz i get to rest........... something that i really look into... was like so tired over the 2 mths.. that most instructors would juz want to have a break... trueeeeeeee???? hehe..............

cny day 1... go fish farm.. then relatives house.. record breakin... 11 houses in 1 day fro 1pm to 10pm................... somehw is like each house 15mins or so........... tiring....................... only left 1 of my mum's siblings house that i did nt go.... phew...

then day 2... nothin much.... other than fish farm... then go my ah ma house and finally to jenni's house...... ooh... this yr better... more pple showed up.. last yr only gt me, donald and bong.... this yr include mag, jet, carmela, cheryl, maverick... did i miss out anyone??? i dun tink so...\

same activity.. eat and play cards.. was there from 4pm to close to 12am..... longest stay ever.... hahA.. the 2 guys improved in the cards le wor... despite still abit blur over the rules.... then taught carm and jet hw to play..... then also learnt abt russian pokers and lucky9 game... cool..... then pizza and yu sheng and ice-cream.. and definitely all the goodies.. damn full loh....

then sat.. finally a day.... of which i hope its still holiday/.. but gotta be in PM for some major thing..... attend BB and CB.. then celebrated darling debbie bd... the surprise nt easy to plan.. tis tis tat tat.. then got bong n mag to join us..... then sing song.... take foto... then like tis bah... fun and enjoyable... woohoo.................... tats abt it.....

tired tired... blisters all over.... sianz.. hw to walk/////

Yeah... thursday

2008-02-01T01:41:00.000+08:00

urm..... so where should i begin my story..... goin to school for 2hrs lect.. endin up being so busy.... dunoe why also.. and off to orchard to shop.... but walk till sianz.. went back to PM and stone for class...

haha.. it was quite a fun afternoon class.... quite a number of laughter... and during kb.. so idiot.. oreadi so tired le.. then stil look at me when i try to relax down.. argh... and something seems to be stucked in my throat... forcin me nt to shout... argh.. but then i tink i ended up screamin.. wahHAAH........

Urm.. went over to BJ to makan.. urm.. nt bad ah...... and as usual.. only we 2 are eating.... lol.. plus sasha eatin a popiah.. and the 2.. sit there... diao rite..... nt much conversation.. cuz it seem quite "cold".... i also dunoe why... jz sit and eat loh... as usual...

class.... fun fun fun.... he did a new block of routine.. and he gt lost.. and he offbeat and etc... haHA... i dunoe hw much to say.. but then i enjoyed the class alot... thats for sure... esp. disturbin jeanie along the way.... woohoo...

You have jz started out... Dun be too hard on urself.. dun push urself too much... all of us would want to perform.. outshine and give in our best shot... but then sometimes, it might turn up the other way too..... different pple different strength... and different weakness too.... some r nt born to do certain things.. jz like me nt able to do dance n hip hop stuff... while some cant do things.... but nevertheless, if we move on.... we will continue and move on...

But impt... we have to learn to be happy and smile...... cannot pull ourselves down.. cheer up...... Be a strong person and dominate the surrouding.... Learn to enjoy and luv urself more....\

Cheers!!!

Arent u happpy today?

2008-01-31T00:49:00.000+08:00

Urm... mon has my kb training.. thanks to him for helping me.... managed to solve somethin out. thanK you.. at least for nw... its gd to me lah.. thank you thank you and thank you............

went back to school for tutorial.. 1st time ever i am so participative... talked so much in class.. dunoe wat happen.. mayb bcuz i ate a banana muffin b4 i go class... then feel damn energetic.... lol.. dunoe.. but its gd to keep talkin....

then went to PM.... put things.. and went out shopping.. bought quite a number of things.. tink i am quite scary recently...oops... but then...yah...... i luv it.. shop and buy things tat u nid and want.. woohooo............

lastly.. KB.... gt a chance to cover this kb class..... i can only say i simply luv it... thank you... despite there r some changes.. but then i will still say... i am willing to challenge myself to take up the challenge.... started the class abit fumbling..... cuz i dun like to talk alot when the music is off.. i cant express in silence..... so did a quick one.. was it quick.. i doubt so... and i started off...

despite nt many pple were shouting.. but then to me.. i feel its generally a gd workout to everyone... can see everyone is managin quite well... so much better than the previous few times when i was still a "shadow" for his class.... so happy... also same time..... some regulars are seen panting..... oops..... i cant allow everyone to perfect their moves.. but i have tried lah..... lost abit of my voice.. but then.... i am really happy.. and for the 1st time in teachin KB.. i din go offbeat... is it a gd news to me.... i dunoe.... but thank you to everyone for allowin me to have a great session....

Its the 40th class that i have for tis mth.... and i am enterin into a new mth feb. soon.........

never expect

2008-01-29T22:39:00.000+08:00

I din expect he will ask me that qn... perhaps i should thank claudia bah..... supposingly to tell him tml morning when we havin our training.. but it came impromptu.... and as usual.. we never gt to discuss qns thoroughly.. that person is always like a small boy.. always get distracted easily.... and talk abt other things......

True... everythin is so new... but i am pressing too hard too.... so looks like i jz gotta relax and keep on going.....

Today... feelin cold.. dun feel quite well.... also dunoe why.... only happen when i go Ep.... tummy damn painful... end up go toilet thrice b4 class... and huggin tummy while doin KB.. jz dun feel gd..... cant concentrate and etc... haix.....

Oh yah... i went to tampines jz nw to have a walk... jz before Ep class... hahA.. bought a pair of heels for cny...... yeah.. ARE YOU READY FOR CNY??? i am not.. cuz gt alot of classes cumin up....

Is your monday a blue-y day

2008-01-28T23:23:00.000+08:00

Started off a day stoning by watchin tv program.. the volleyball game.. dunoe why.. i like old tv drama.... nice...... and out i went out of the house... ahem.....

almost dropped my tears while talkin to pple.. wasnt feeling very ok..... in the case emotionally.... while pple are lookin at a pig.... i am havin a sulken face..... damn down.. jz dun feel like smiling.... and went to studio 2..... tink jade and sasha.. saw my gloomy face.. but i jz gt no mood bah.. jz want some silence.... and then gt bluffed.. and we walked back to HQ.. where someone repeatedly apologize......

urm........ training for hilo... so far so gd... i'm still tryin to work on it though... hilo is something i am not v. worried abt.. bcuz i know in exactly of wat i want or wat can i cater to my members.... in fact the attendance rate has been on a rising rate... something that i am happy over.. and the class is getting noiser n noiser bcuz of me and their participation... hahA... u wun know all these unless u attend the class.... trust me.... they will rock the house.. and mayb tear down the ceiling...

left early for thomson class..... with jade and sasha stayin behind..... urm.... classes today... Cb gt 12 pple... yeah.... all r advanced n mostly regulars... so quite alot are turning... in fact.. i forget routine.. brought in my tango step earlier... but lucky manage to save myself.. while the members dunoe.... hehe..... and they were marvellous bah.... i really salute them.....

kb... 8 pple.. nt bad though.... defiNitely better than last wk..... and they say tiring... but i dunoe is it really the fact... where do i stand.... i gt no idea..... i am nt worried of anythin other than this in perhaps......

my heart is heavy... sinkin.... thumping.... wakin up each day tinkin of so many things.. of wat will happen... wat happen if this or that and etc..... dunoe lah........ i never expect things to turn out such a way... i never... but then u r makin things worse right now..... why cant pple be more receptive.... if i knew... i would nt have told you anythin... i regretted it badly...... sianz............... best wishes to u......my best regards.....

Only they know me the best

2008-01-27T19:42:00.000+08:00

Guess only my parents would know me the best bah... in terms of my character and attitude.... they were talkin to my relatives juz nw.. and true enough... they Knew... i am those who dun express my feelings... neither would i let others know... i tend to keep everythin to myself... if nt in perhaps over here, at my blog... perhaps thats jz me bah...... i am not those who will be able to interact in big group or even to do solo demo and etc..... argh!!

Anyway... i enjoyed myself alot today wor..... despite having min. sleep fro last nite DND..... i still manage to pull myself up to go thomson..... for my fav. 9.30am HILO class.... perhaps they are my kind as well... all r regulars.... had seen them every week... and they are cumin so often... hehe.... and today... they some sort "stressed" me... in the senese whereby..... i am running out of routine up on stage... hahA.. cuz they are too PRO... i guess so.. so i tell them... they do 1 more round... while i tink.... but then i jz wack on 1 routine...... and play on it..... and as usual... they scream and shout during the classs.... yeah yeah.....

Then went home... but along the way gt des's sms..... nid to help her cover class.. at the same time was sorting out some issues of HILO training..... so in the end.. did a swap.. cover for des at EP... and she will do back the LO at woodlands tmr......

Over at EP.... guess its worth goin over bah..... cuz they were real happy to see me..... and one claimed "Luv the class and say she nids instructors like me to help them"... partly she gettin married.. so yup... and they were askin why din i teach in EP... urm.... to me, indeed i am happy to hear all these remarks bah.... cuz i know i am improving and doin gd....... but on the other hand, there is nothin much for me that i can do.... i can only do well for all the classes that are allocated to me... i guess so.....

Feelings are hidden.. but if you are willing to open up, your partner muz be willing to open to listen to you as well... This is wat i tink...... but then.... we wun knOw...... the r/s i hold with everyone is so unique and strange.. but then i will still treasure each and everyone... yeah!!!!

Amore DND

2008-01-27T00:35:00.000+08:00

YEah... i am back home... fro Amore DND... urm....... not much to comment... but then my head is very giddy.... these few days i guess my blood sugar is low again..... nid to intake more sweets and etc.. to keep myself in top peak condition.. or else may nid to get pple to cover my class ya.....

Quite a number of people dress up in cowboy or cowgirl costume.. quite interesting... have pple singing... includin donald and boyz..... and games too... erm... there is a particular segment for best dressed costume.. got pulled up on stage ya.... urm.... bcuz of the whip.......

Perhaps its jz my personality... doesnt seem to be able to blend into interaction when there are too many pple.. i am more to myself... i guess..... pple who kNow me will Know.. if nt i jz stone down there... and thats wat happened basically lah........

My head is in pain.. giddy giddy... i dun feel gd loh.... haix.. dun ask me why.. i dunoe hw to explain lah...................................................

School here n there... up up down down... classes so far.... cardio aerobics classes are picking up.... in the sense... my members are able to turn with me or sometimes on their own too.... and more feedback are cumin to me directly also.... thats something i like it.... and perhaps some feel my class abit xiong... so for back2back classes... by the time 2nd one.. most of them were half dead.. but still struggling...... and they say they enjoy..... and ensure they do cum...
Tink my greatest worry is still KB bah.... urm.... so yah....... there it goes......

Even though to myself... i know that i am not able to tell you how i feel or wat i feel...... but then i Know i am tryin my very best bah........ i am waitin for the right time or right chance to tell u.. hopefully u dun hear fro others....... i dunoe leh....... but then but then.... arh... dunoe wat to say....

Giddyness.............

So many of u

2008-01-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

I seem to be tellin alot of pple of the same issue.. and they are XXX pple... i guess so.... am glad that everyone is out there to listen to me... suggestions do help... but limitations are there too..... ever ranked KB as my top fav... but yet i am at nowhere when cumin to teach... yet the most un-confident NB... yet turns out to be my favourite and best class so far.... Wats cumin up all by... i dunoe..... they are new.. and i am new too.. all of us grow together... i hope time is sufficient for me... i hope so... i am pretty worried in some case or another.......

Who is out there to listen to me..... 2 pple ask me to ask him this qn.. but i am stoppin myself.. bcuz of limitations...... i cant disclose over here... but i Know i am tryin my very best... i dun wish to tell anyone..... its only for u to find out and for you to kNow.....

When pple drift.. it could be due to alot of reasons... i chose nt to reply to her sms last NIte... nt bcuz i agree that i had walked out of her... in fact i din... i jz wanted to give both of us some space in perhaps... she hadnt been havin time to herself.... she has been scarificing so much on others... tis shouldnt be this in fact... we live to be happy.... we live to luv ourselves too..... we dun live bcuz of others...... even though there could be a strong attachment....

I ever told u before... if one day anythin had happened and i left... the only reason could be bcuz of cheryl... but tis time is nt her..... in fact, to me its for ur own gd... its for urself..... try picturin urself in the scenario of havin time to urself alone...... and stop tinkin of weird issues...... and havin the word "trust" does not mean that we have to disclose all issues..... if we hadnt trust one another, we wouldnt have talked to one another too.... and i wouldnt have told u so many things too......

I know i am still concerned for u... but yet i Know i cant be with u 24hrs everyday..... due to all reasons includin school and amore...... sometimes we have to learn to solve things on our own.. as individuals and nt rely on others....... we can care n be concerned.... but back to square.. the problem is still urs... either u solve or smash it....... u r the decider..... like u Know... some issues are still in my mind...... and its only me myself and i who can help myself... no matter hw many pple i am talkin to... no matter who i talk to.. back to square its still ME ME n ME>.... no one else...

I dunoe whether u will be seein tis or understand what am i sayin anot.... hopefully u would not get the wrong meaning....... currently, i dun wish to do all these... but i am down with all these options... i am sorry if i am doin tis...... but then.. i jz wish u r happy in doin ur own things.......
We want you to be happy as urself..... remember wat i say " U ARE WHO U R"... so BE URSELF>>>>

Spree

2008-01-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

Had been spendin alot alot of money... wah.. tink i nid to rob bank... but then back to tinkin.. i dun anyhw spend also ah.... spend 200 on CNY clothes.... then another 130 on gym wear..,. bought a pair of adidas pants n top.... looks nice.. wearin on upcumin wk..... then wat else huh...... abt tis and tat

this wk plus... i had been talkin to quite a number of pple..... two key pple too..... hope i din create a disaster..... i hope.. but those are wat i see and tink.... hope you two understand as well...... cuz u 2 are adults.... so i guess u should.. and wun get the wrong idea...

He attended my class on sat.... urm.. i dunoe why... but i am not to myself... that is defiNitely not hw i usually conduct the class.... i jz find myself OFF.... guess i am nervous or wat bah... i dunoe.....but then i kNow i could have been better n so on lah..... but doin fine...

SUN morning.. today is another day or even the highest day that i have... cuz the 9.30am class.... is gettin better... and today they scream with me.. luff with me.. talk to me and etc.... enjoy the class with them... and we jz did alot of things ah..... luv them lots.. cuz they kNow i go there jz to teach 1 class in the morning.. and tats it.. thank you for brightenin me up......

TIs tis that tat... tis tis tat tat.. still in a mess with my school stuff... somethin dun seem to go very right lah....... i dunoe wat is it.. waitin for school reply... till now nothin cumin back.. irritated......

I do not kNow why also... but then i feel i am nt to myself at times.... sometimes i wonder wat is the feelin of being alone? What is the feeling when no one cares for u, no one show concern..... wats the feeling... u experienced b4...... i dunoe lah......

I dun open out so easily to pple.. esp. some things i dun feel like talkin... i will jz avoid the issue.... u cant bug me.... esp. on issues that will hurt other feelings.. i hate to shatter pple's dream or heart n etc...... Even though i kNow i cant change some things... but its jz like tat.... learn to accept and follow......

thank you thank you thank you...... u have been there for me.... thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

tired

2008-01-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

I guess i am not to myself bah.. jz wanna be alone alone n alone.. i dunoe why lah... dun feel good...

I am tired.. wo lei le.. wo zhen de lei le..................

IN the small little corner, there sit a ger called weishi. SHe is feeling numb and weird. For the 1st time when she teaches class, she wasnt really to herself. She jz do watever she tinks. She has to learn how to entertain everyone. Yet surprisingly, members approach her and ask her tons of questions. Is that a gd sign? I dunoe..... Lost lost...

You are back.. yes u r... but funni thing... why is it that when i see u.. i tink of my parents.. is it bcuz i always relate you to be on super close terms with ur mum... or wat..... i dunoe.. and that moment i jz feel like huggin under my mum's arms.... i dunoe leh..... urm......

Time to be alone.................... i dun wish to treat u in tis manner.. but then.. i dunoe...

How am i feeling

2008-01-15T22:19:00.000+08:00

Today u asked me how am i feeling.. Hope i am doin fine.... Am i doing fine? AM i doing good. I dunoe. Classes maybe yes, but connection among me i dun tink so. I seem to be affected by alot of issues.. and tinking..... tis tis that that.....

I am feeling alitle trapped... hidden at one corner. U cant feel me, u cant touch me.... but i am out there.... out of the blue, i dont feel like talkin to pple... out of the sky... i dont feel like doin things.... other than being in the studio.

Today, she told me something... someone is leavin.. and its internally... i dunoe who is that... but i kNow its nt these few..... i dunOe... somehow or another... i wasnt carryin myself to go EP to teach..... even though i want to....... too many things up in my mind.. i cant find the key to the lock....... slightly messed up routine jz nW... bcuz i am distracted by the lady... and i am tinkin somethin else... i cant bring my emotions in and connect with the members.. but thank you to them for these few wks.. u gals had been great esp. sasha who started off by shouting.. thaNks to her.....

i dunoe lah........................ i feel that i am in a mess.................. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM IN A BIG MESS

2008-01-14T23:25:00.000+08:00

Dun ask me why am i not right... dun ask me tis and that.. i dunoe hw to answer... but i know I AM IN A BIG MESS RIGHT NOW!!!

Honestly speaking.... i dun feel good lah.... i cried to sleep last nite... also dunoe why... -perhaps is bcuz of u.... seeing the way u r now.. seeing the life of you... i dun feel good as being your fren.. i feel helpless... i had tried means and ways... talked to u.. showed actions... but nothin seems to help lah..... i feel worn out... but i know i still nid to do somethin out for u. at least for the fact seein that u are still doin well.. it really aches me....

HAIX>>>>>>>>>> Dunoe lah....................................

Today.....i thought that i did quite a good job in my evening class... after the tinkin over the wk... of my emo-ness..... i thought i deliver something good.. re-edit my routine.. manage to make the members high abit..... no so complicated routine and stuff...but hearing the words..... i dun feel v. good.... didnt see someone perspire after 15mins as much as she could.. tellin me she only burn like 100 calories from the 2 classes... i feel down... seriously down.... i tried so hard.. i really tried.... but apparently i dunoe... the words blunted out from my mouth jz nw was like.... i also dunoe.. sometimes seein u travel all the way.. yet dun see u enjoy.. i wun feel good... i dunoe whether should i ask her to continue cum to support.... or to do her own workout....... what should i do... i really dunoe lah................... some knOw i am dreadin abit here n there... even though i dun wish to....... but then i am tryin my very very best.... i dun blame anyone for not shouting or showing some action... but at least i saw that they are all DOIN the routine.. and smiling.... and they r enjoying...... tats something i oreadi feel good...... I dunoe lah.................... i wish u r happy.. i wish u enjoy... i wish this... i wish tat... but i dunoe hw to satisfy every single one of u out there... I AM GREEDY!!!!! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you are down and troubled by your academic matters.. but wat else can i say... things done had been done.. hw to undo it...... its jz a few more wks..... IF only tis tis tis.... but then i am one who dunoe hw to console.. and tis is academic matters.. i am nt the principal... i can decide and solve things out.. i can only be there to listen to you........ i dunoe lah... i am lost........

School startin.. i am dreadin too.. i dun like school... u know u know u know.. its a struggle to me... jz to go school... who also wants to spend more time on other things n stuffs.... than jz school alone... no one wishes to... but we are up to no choice at times.................... perhaps i am emo due to school bah....................... i nid a sea... listen to the breeze..... see the waves.... 1 up 1down...... relax and calm myself........

Seeing you back.. hearin your voice.... it somehow eases me..... perhaps so many things had happened... and i feel tat i nid to be re-occupied back again..... it somehow is there lah......i feel i am like the sandwich... in the middle... neither here nor there... i can never be at the extreme end.... i can only be in the middle... i dunoe lah..... i Know u know... we all Know.. even though u r back.. but sometimes i hope things remain in such a way..... thurs... i luv thurs.. but will thurs be always as happy as it should be..... i dunoe...i dunoe.... i feel lost.... i dunoe wat is goin to happen at the very nxt hour, nxt min or even nxt second.......... but then i luv every single sec that i spend with anyone of u out there.... treasure me jz like a present... or even the bear that is under your arms.... i luv to be tucked.......

P.S: WHERE IS MY CHIP????? I dun wish to buy u on impulse... i dun wish to..............................

sianzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2008-01-14T00:33:00.000+08:00

IN A MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUNOE WAT AM I TINKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIANZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How come like tis?

2008-01-12T23:02:00.000+08:00

I dunoe why.. every sat i am jz so so so so tired.... why huh... i dunoe.... i dun mind goin down... but after the class... i jz feel so tied down... so tired.. in ache n pain......

i begin to ponder... u knOw.... why isnt the number increasin? Is it that my class only caters to the regulars? not so much to the newcomers? I am tinkin tinkin n tinking....... so weird so funni....

enjoyin myself up on stage.... esp. when i do replacement at other outlets...... i mean aerobics ah.. bcuz i get to do what i want... i can breakdown faster.. do tis and that faster.... and not so draggy... for example.. tis morning... enjoy the class... saw the members enjoying so much... and they r turnin with me as well.. despite its woodlands class... where they dun really like to turn.. but they did it with me.. kickboxing.. the class started off not shouting.. but thankfully.. warmed them up... after haf hr... final more n more pple are shouting... and can see them enjoying.... and esp. till i play baby i'm on fire.. everyone is SO SO SO HIGH!!! including myself...... but too bad... i am not takin the class permanently.... so... when will i see them again... i dunoe.......

suddenly jz begin to tink n ponder..... does it mean that i want something else or wat? I dunoe.... sianx.......... i wish to tell jenni mummy something.. but i am always afraid of havin the 2nd feeling.... haix.. wat should i do..................

school is starting... tis n tat... tis and that... i gettin so sian..............3 more semesters to go. how many months.. equal 15 mths........... i still gt to endure on....................... hang on there........ haix............

cant wait to return back for normal amore classes at nxt wk............................ i miss the classes..... getting emo.......................................

lastly, congratulations to sasha for passin her aic exams..... great job done ger........ hehe... new embarkment... time to move on wor...... but dun stress.. enjoy the final semester at work..... baby van returnin back to work... know she tired.. but wat to do............................... hang on there...

tiring sia

2008-01-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

what should i blog today??? i also dunoe... cuz nothin much happen though...

spend my time.. accompanyin pple i guess.. fro one up on her bf.. to then attend class.. then to cannot remember routine.. and then to dinner and finally to grocery shopping..

but i know I NID A MASSAGE!!! I am freakin tired.. perhaps tmr.. i will jz go and get pple to do it for me.. achin fro top to bottom.. cannot stand le.... pain here n dere.. aww.... and my legs are so tight..........

These 3 wks.. finally cumin to an end.. i can finally do wat i want to do......... yeah.... so so so happy...... woohoo!!!!

Isolation

2008-01-09T02:07:00.000+08:00

She feels that i am drifting away from her... She feels that i am isolating her... I can sense that she feels i am trying to move away fro her... but then i am not bah...

Too many things out in my mind... and i know i am those who cant give in to a person 100% truthfully and totally I am someone who try to treat everyone equally, other than giving her loved ones xtra. My time is in limited span. 24hrs a day, i tink its never enough for me lah..... and my xtra time not even to say. I can jolly well spend alot alot of time doin on 1 particular thing.. esp. in stuffs that i like... so dun blame me for takin my own sweet time...

I know she would want me to come out fro HQ today and mit her up, but apparently things dun work the way though. Partly, the cheque gt delayed, even till 5plus and at the same time, its such a sudden mit up... i rather to let the person knOw way before way... esp. when things are planned out.... and when i jz returned back fro BJ in less than 5 mins..... my legs didnt want to bring me back.. esp. when the person din tell me why... intention was to mit her at 5pm... but the sms at 3.40pm... was real disheartening...till i am jz lost for words.. and the reply back was like i break my promise or wat.. jz bcuz i din reply immediately at 3.40pm???.... and the fact is i am busy attendin somethin... away fro fone... and she din tell me she wasnt happy or wat lah.. dunoe lah..... but once i replied.. gt such a reply... i feel i am like wat.... i dunoe.... i've been tryin my ways, means and methods to get things goin.. but apparently the fire is burning too strong, till my extinguisher is not functioning... Useless now... i din know wat to do now... call fire engine or wat... leave the fire burning????? Ni nei nei........

I'm kinda disappointed in a way whereby i am being treated in a "coldly manner". The feeling isnt that fantastic, either is it marvellous. One of the main reason she knows it too.. once my school begin nxt wk, i have more things up on hand. Projects n Assignments... these are something that i nid to do.. and in perhaps rest too....... everyone around me says i am tired... and ask me to rest...even though i am ok.. once school begin, till nw i still cant comment anythin as school has yet to start lah... i have to try to do somethin....

I dunoe lah...... tis is lame and ridiculous in my dictionary..... i know i cant b there forever ah.... not that i dun wan to... bcuz i jz cant get myself................................ i am nt a bullet train..... i like to take things wols n steady....... Patience is one of the virtue to success and completion of task....

YAwnx...

2008-01-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

Achin achin achin.. am i turnin old? Urm...... i dunoe.. hahA....

Mon went over to BJ to cover class... HILO... urm.... always luv to cover replacement class for HILO.. bcuz i get to do what i want to do.. such as turn and etc.. cuz right nw i cant do them in my permanent thomson classes.... as most of them r new members... but glad to say.. all of them are improvin fast.. and i am beginning to see members turning as well... and i mean they r new members....

then it was raining.. gt drenched abit..... met jenni for lunch.... had a long chat with her over the meal... talked alot.... esp. on sensitive issue...... i know i am in no position to discuss the issue.. but then sometimes we will jz talk over it.....

saw jade... and we went over to BJ to use the studio...... practise hilo with jade... in fact i am her participant.. gave her comments and etc... we are always learning fro one another.. then got back to HQ..and van. msg sayin she was at BJ... when i jz got back... diao... no intention to go back... as I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE CHEQUE... takin ancient time...... but dun blame them as they r new.......

then wait n wait n wait.... tink of routine... listen to music and etc.... but was then behind the area talkin to jenni and claudia.. again.. its another long talk...... discussin many issues ah......... again... i cant say here.........

was so tired to get myself carried on... then drag myself to EP to teach KB.... till nw i dunoe lah... i would luv to teach Bong's class.. but then the tension is there always.. wanted to deliver a gd class always...... the WOW factor that is something that i always keep in my mind.. HAve i WOW my members after each class.. in either routine, way i carried myself, overall workout and etc..... i would reflect back....

THe KB went well.. i guess.. minor hiccups... started off fumblin awhile...... then gan chiong here n dere.. but after awhile.. when i begin doin my main routine... it really gets so much better.... cuz i tink i have oreadi warmed up le..... so yah....... feel comfortable le bah.. and get to interact with the members.... and THEY SHOUT!!!! YEs....... so happy for it... bcuz tats something i waitin to hear...... then comments such as thank you for the gd class..... its a great workout... and etc.... nid such encouragement bah....... since i am still new to KB.....

and then conclude.. i lost my voice le...

FRiends forever

2008-01-06T00:47:00.001+08:00

Is this an emo entry? I hope no... recently, quite alot of issues had been occurring among the friends among me. But wat can i do as a friend of them? Be there to listen to their worries, be there to show them comfort and support? Learn how to be brave in front of them, to minimize their worries. What can i do exactly?

Case 1:
We have been trying to help her in solving her problem. This issue has been on-going for quite some time. But yet, due to some circumstances and constraints, this issue is never solved. BUt yet, i know right now this strong ger is trying her best to get out of the situation. But i hope she is not hiding anything from anyone. If she wants to solve the issue, she nids to open out and speak the truth. ANd also, as mentioned patience is one of the keys to success. I hope she sustain long, and recover fast. I will be there for you always.

Case 2:
These couple of mths.... things happen.. people change.. someone leave and etc... We miss one another, we luv one another. Without your presence, i feel a sense of loss. Without you, i feel there is a missing competitor. Without you, it juz look very weird and off ah.. I miss you. ABle to see you really brightens me up. Thank you for the conversation and support. Luv ya. We will see one another soon, i guess. As for the other one, should be back soon... lookin forward.... better back with new stance for us..... Ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Case 3:
Somehow the distance or the gap is valid. I wont say i dun like your class or etc. But i feel everyone has different style of conducting a class. I respect yours and i hope you respect mine too. Even though i find some of your movement may be dangerous at time, but i know you also want the members to enjoy the class. My feedback and comments are juz general. You could take into consideration and see how you can work on it. Too many things have been happening. I am learnin to take things one at a time. But sometimes, i feel stubborness and wildness are not listed in my dictionary. We have to learn to accept and make changes cum adaptation in order to have peace. By creating a scene or war may not help, in fact it will worsen. Not directly shooting at things, but this is my personal feelings. Dun be emo if you read.
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I guess we need to learn to listen to our bodies at times. We need to learn how to protect ourselves. When it is the time for us to stop, we should stop. Dun anyhow wack your body. Learn how to luv your body more. Seeing the news of the comedian passing away, Had some emotional thoughts on my own. Why are some of us pushing so hard? Regardless is in studies, teaching class or even workout. IS IT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? Wouldnt it be juz good to learn how to enjoy ur life, do what you wish and like to do and be happy and contented? Why are we forcing ourselves? LEarn to relax and breathe at the same time.

Reading the newspaper.. i luv this line... " Once you find yourself doing in a career that you enjoy, you are no longer working".... Is this sentence true? I guess different people have different thoughts. As for me of now, definitely it is true. This career of being a fitness instructor is never easy. Alot of consideration. HAve to learn to accept feedback, grow as you learn, exchange pointers and etc. Not all the times are good too. But if you are really enjoying what you are doing, you will luv tis job even more. You will find it more like a routine rather than a hassle. Thats my thoughts.

This morning i dun feel good at all. Wake up shivering in cold. Really in cold. Despite the hot shower, it doesnt help much. Wanted to take MC but the class is in the morning. So dragged myself to take the train.. up on the train.. feeling giddy and etc.. but thankfully the sleep does help alittle. Arrived in EP... some members have arrived. Feeling at first wasnt that good becuz i dunoe the pple and then all seem not wake up yet ah... have to keep sayin good morning to them.... soon i begin to see familiar faces and ease abit....

Not a bad class taken i guess so.. the class begin to "cool down" when we reachin the matwork of NB... where i also begin to start telling them lame jokes and keep them goin. I hope i cant motivate them much, so i begin talkin crap to them.... luckily they respond ah.. esp. two particular members..... ABT.. i was quite amazed by 1 lady. I dunoe why.. but then she jz inspired me somehow....

And this is finally one of the 1st time i enjoy myself in HILO, after so many weeks. I guessed reason is becuz i am not used to wols class. So when cumin to really take my time to break down the routine and not doing the turn, it does gets abit off. But then i am coping it well. Not grumbling, but thats juz me. The class is pretty high and people respond to me when i asked them whether they are OK... and want one more round anot... Yeah.... it was indeed a FUN but then yet a super tiring long session. Members approach me and ask me where am i teachin, while some also ask me what songs i play. I guessed or i had really enjoyed myself alot at tis day. Then dragged myself off to thomson. 75mins of journey. Sit till butts almost gone... All new faces or except one... always luv the kb segment.. dunoe why.. and jz do ah.... and go home.. i am damn tired by then...... jz wanna rest my body...

Cumin back to think.. i have been teaching for the past 2 mths and 1 day in exact. Things really changed, including me. For the good or the bad, i dunoe lah... And surprising, 3 segments, KB NB AEROBICS, guess which is the one i fare best. I can say its NB.. something that i find myself improving alot and members like it. Despite there is one -ve feedback fro kovan fro C's members, but then jz learn to accept it. Yet on the other hand, others like and comment that they do prefer such type of class. So for which is good? Its subjective. Aerobics is still doing fine i suppose. But nid to work more on routine, i suppose. Seem to lack something, but i cant figure it out. Kickboxing, so far only taken two classes, till now i cant comment much. Still have to keep going.

Life changes. I dun ask for more, but i wanna happiness in both me and you you you and you. All my loved ones. I want you all to smile and not frown. Stay happy. BE there always for you. Thankful and grateful for attending my class, giving me feedback and showing me support. Thank you deep from my heart. Do take care.

Cheers!

P.S: Dun mean to be emo.. but jz some thoughts after talking to people and listening to what others say and media....

weird thurs

2008-01-04T00:46:00.000+08:00

Been sleepin like a pig daily... and its like sleep till i wake up.... even i set alarm clock.. i am jz freakin tired i guess.. haix.... wat to do.... i dunoe why i am tired....

I am so sianz.... mood wasnt very good also.. recently... so many things happen i guess.....
spend my morning on comp.. jz refuse to get off my room..... bcuz i jz dun wan lah... so rot rot.. till happy then go PM.....

KB... erm..... i dunoe why.... i jz do lah... mayb bcuz yah....... but glad to see iris, debbie and van.. but still short of someone... I CANT WAIT FOR NXT THURS...........

then go hans.. chat chat talk talk...

these 3 wks spend alot of time with my family.. also gd lah......

i dunoe i dunoe i dunoe.........

2008-01-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

wo de xin qin heng bu hao. Zai 2008 nian de di er tian, ju ran you zhe me duo shi fa shen... er qie ta men ju ran fa shen zai duan duan de yi liang de xiao shi. wo bu shi shen qi, bu shi shang xin, er shi gan dao zuo ren zhe me na me de xin ku ni. wei le ni men, wo tui san tui shi, er ju ran bie ren jiu zhe yang guo qu le.

wo bu shi yi ge mu ou. wo bu shi rang ni men kong zhi de. wo shi you gan qing, you wo zhi ji de zhu jian de. ni men ke yi bu yao rang wo zhe me yang ma? ke yi mah?

hui dao jia, ye mei you she me hao shi. wo bu gao xin lah.......... jian le yi ge tou fa..... que yue bian yue zao....... ni nei nei................. 2008 nian wo jiu yi ku le.............................

helpless.... lost...... i dunoe where am i now.... i dun wish things to happen in such a way lah...... i hope not only my thinkin and thoughts will nt come true... i jz dun wish such things to happen in front of my eyes....... i dun like i dun like i dun like..............

I wanna go home.... and hug into the arms of my mum........................ juz like a teddy bear............

happy new yr

2008-01-02T01:21:00.000+08:00

H a P p Y N e W Y e A r 2 0 0 8
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A brand new yr..... firstly happy new yr to all my luved ones... hope everythin sailin smooth.... okok.. pls take care in yrself.. watever u do... work hard for ur dreams n goals... jiayou.....

luv ya lots!

Hugs,
Weishi aka Edlyn

P.S: spent the last day of 2007 and 1st day of 2008 with 2 lovelies... van and deb.... thank you!!!

Its been so happenin in 2007

2007-12-31T11:58:00.000+08:00

Guess this should one of the most fruitful year that i have in my whole life..... real evolvement.... perhaps its one of the changes in my life bah...... mayb bcuz i got a change of job.......

Academic matter
------------------
had to settle tis n that.. tis n that...... early at last semester, had to drop one module bcuz i dunoe wat the heck the lecturer is talkin... kns... then nxt semester also din get any better lah... thought i could take up social work as my shared major... only till later i found out that i nid to do attachment.. but apparently i cant.. right at the moment... so dropped it... and will be doin 100% geo as my major... with such.. i had to add on modules to repay back.. and wasted lah..... argh....

And as usual... i am still so anti-social in school... plan my modules until so nice.. when class end... i am out of school.. jz hate to stay in school.....

AMORE
----------
This should indeed be the most major thing that happen bah... spent a bomb of 1.5K on certificate... and the course is not easy to learn though.. alot alot of things..... but thankfully its something that i like n enjoy....hehe.... then it added on with training... got myself a mentor called Bong.... yah... tis person can really make me emo, happy and etc... bcuz all his feedback does affects me greatly... perhaps its jz someone whom i respect alot.... so i take every words seriously.... had i graduated fro him? i dunoe.. but then i am enjoyin what i am doin right now...

At now, I am holdin 6 permanent classes in thomson plaza, the newest outlet..... the members r nice... all other instructors agreed with me too... only thing is the place sux fro the start... with no clock, bad sound system and every single little thing..... but now better... they gt new equipment..... beginnin to like the place bah......

Lastly, i am involved in amore performance.... 2 majors ones... amore women's day out roadshow and actual day workout...

and also thomson roadshow..... fun experience.. learnt alot.. seen alot.. and experienced alot.... alot of feelings..... cant describe.. but then its really dere...

For the 1st mth.. had taken 39 classes in total.. quite a great achievement... shall look forward to better mth... feedback more or less r ddere... i jz had to accept regardless they r gd or bad..... listen.. work on it and improve on... but i have my own target set... 2 in perhaps... i want to hit my quota... gettin 40 members in my own class.... and also havin another class in another outlet.... and if possible.. wanna learn and teach another different form of class.... but not so soon.. such plan should b for apr onwards... allow me to stabilize and master my aerobics, newbody and kickboxing bah......

Personal Life
--------------
Not much happening things in my personal life... other than i am now single and not sure available anot.. cuz i am far too busy to be taken by someone... i guess... but indeed someone did step inside my life in tis yr... had a memorable time i guess.. despite its short...

Some claim that i had lost weight after goin amore or even becum an instructor.. to me... i din really see much... mayb bcuz the figure din move lah... so i am not bothered so much.. but then... its quite impt as an instructor as u really nid to look good in order to b up on stage... so yaya.... jz be happy n contented and i am happy le......

Added new frenzs into my circle.. i mean amore instructors though. my mummy jenni... luv her lots.. recently sick.. hope she recovers.... and not forgettin bong, carmela, cheryl, claudia, desiree, donald, jet, mag, and etc etc etc lah..... luv them lots... somehow everythin is jz like a miracle or a dream.. bcuz i had never anticipate it.... started off fro a CNY gatherin.... and then to hans makan session.. and then to roadshow and b'day celebration....

and till now.. we are dere.. dere.. dere... knowin them indeed is a valuable treasure bah

Not much changes in the frens around me too..... my few buddies... huimin is still with her bf..... and havin a change in career..... then feifei.. happily with her beng beng...... really happy for the 2 of them..... then vanessa... yayA.... tis ger.. up n down up n down.. dunoe wat is she tinkin also.... hope she is happy too.... sasha, iris, debbie....fitness khakis always dere for me..

Exciting events of the year
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HAd my own classes...... becomes an instructor.... had a fruitful bday celebration with surprises...

goin clubbin more often... or i mean social drinking.......

and performances bah.. exciting events.....

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With the new year coming up..... wat am i lookin forward to.... happiness? career advancement? perhaps jz stay cheerful....

2008 resolution
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1) Plan and save my earnings
2) Get my camera
3) Have additional classes
4) Continue to learn new stuffs
5) Aim for all Bs in my studies

And lastly be happy i guess...........................................

Thank you!

2007-12-30T23:01:00.000+08:00

Before the yr is comin to an end.... i tink i nid to thank one person mah..... the ger who also makes me emo.......................... happy................. all sorts of feelings... whahhahaa.......

Vanessa Lee Zi Ting............... ya...tis ger....

fro the moment of hatred when she discriminate me... till right now.. within this 6 to 8 mths.. alot alot of things had happened... and its indeed HAPPENING loh.. and jz btw the 2 of us.... so look at how amazing things could be...

started off teachin her aerobics for an hr.. i still remember that i almost vomit blood loh... bcuz she ah... dunoe hw to say.... want to learn.. but then end up stand down dere for a while... and still remember that she inside changing room.. sayin i shocked her... since when.. muz b she tink too much le loh.....

then story continued to where..... ahlian gt to know abt tis ger too... and both of us gossip abt her... oops... long story sia... and then suddenly we all know one another lah......

but major thing eventually happen for thomson roadshow i guess... lots of things bah.. and she taught me alot also... lalalLA...... and we could get so emo while doin roadshow... lolx.. cant imagine.....

and finally till nw she is attendin my class.. remmeber she used to tell me or sometimes to others that she wants to attend my class.. when i am still doin the instructor course... guess nw it is here... i hope she is seriously enjoying herself... sometimes i am worrried that she will tire herself out loh......

A nice ger lah...and too many things abt her... tink 1 entry also nt enough to say abt her... so ya... i treasure her as my sis or my mei mei lah.......... she better take gd care or else i one punch make her fly........ or let her kick plank till she die....oops...wahHAHAA....

sick n sick

2007-12-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

I dunoe why... but i feel sick ah.. nt sick iin the brains... but sick physically... no energy.... tink i same as my mummy... lack of rest ah........ nid to sleep more... rest more... so then have energy n get better....

wth....................................

had quite a fun time today in both places... thomson and kovan.....

1) thomson
as usual... abt 6 pple for the class... 5 r regulars... yea... nt bad...... 3 of them can do the routine pretty well.. and 2 of them can do grapevine turn.. so happy loh.... then like that...... talked to a couple of them... feel kinda home-ly..... cuz there is a sense of attachment......

while in transition.. met up with baby van... gt her to eat lunch with me.... i am so freakin freakin sick and tired.. that i dragged myself to there.... PS i mean... and with my eyes haf open.. puffy eyes..... sicko eyes also.. had a great session with her as usual.. and she gt me my cookies or my biscuits... nice loh.. fruity fruity de........ and we have a continued session in HANS park mall...... and then the fickle minded almost landed in kovan with me... mad ger.. but tats her and i like loh... whahAHAH....

2) kovan
one thing that really amazed me is the technique... majority of the members are old birds or regulars.. and they know the proper way of doin.. jz that endurance level is lower....... used the usual same style to conduct my newbody class... yeah..... great great! One ger called sharon came up to me and said that she liked my style and class..... sayin the pace is good.. slowly build up.. and i can also see everyone can catch up... tis is the dunoe hw many times members askin me.. where else do i teach.. and same reply... main class all at thomson.... u see me at other outlets.. all r replacement.... so ya ya.. and i nt full-time with amore.... doin freelance...... and i am still schooling.... yea yea.......................

And home i came and sleep n sleep n sleep.... till close to 10pm.... b4 i had my dinner... yawnz... i am still so tired after sleepin so much... is it too much or too little.. i dunoe.. wats my plan for tmr.. other than last replacement for des 3.30pm in woodlands??? urm... let me go figure out......

after tmr.. then figure is 39 classes in a mth.. quite amazed though........ i beginnin to luv tis more n more.... 10 more days to d return also....

pple drift... pple keep secret.... but wats d reason for.. i dunoe... i had done my best... i had did wat i can as a fren of urs... but if u r nt opening out to me.. i cant do much... we might be on the same boat.. but then.. i dun wish to see the boat capsize lah.... so few words.... bao zhong.. take care...... i'll still b around always......

On and off

2007-12-29T00:30:00.001+08:00

My body is so On and Off... can be ok suddenly and nxt moment i can turn sick.... wat the loh..... but then nvm lah... jz like tat.. nid to take more gd care of myself lah......

basically.. today jz nua at home lah.. din do much other than tidyin my room... and abit of the living room.... yeah... nw my room is better... THROW AWAY all my last semester books..... ALL DOWN INTO THE RUBBISH CHUTE..... so clever hor..... bcuz i forsee myself not takin those modules again... haHA..... so down they go..... lalalala.....

AND NOW my room looks neat and tidy.... hehe......

Then class like tis... nt really to myself though.. unexplainable...... enjoyin? fun? i dunoe lah... jz like that... but i find myself EXPLAININ alot to members.... tellin them in exactly of what to do correctly.... Bcuz i feel it is necessary at now.. tis moment of time.. so spend my time correcting them......

New routine... nt bad lah.... but then if can do advance moment that would even be better..... but then we gotta take things one at a time.... lalalla... like tis loh...... and off we go.....

MEi mei MEN!!!! where r the MEN? Who are they? I dunoe leh.... only she knowS..... one day nid to thank her mama personally also.. i mean her biologicAL mum... been feedin me all the birds fro CJ.... diao..and now what's nxt/...... siao boh rite.......

LalalLALALAL..... time to oinkz oinkzzzzz

VANESSA

2007-12-28T00:24:00.000+08:00

Vanessa LI ZI TING!!!! STOP READIN the archives.... u r so dead...............

and pls faster go and koon!!!!!

OR I WILL BLACK MAIL U!!!!

low sugar again

2007-12-27T22:53:00.000+08:00

Erm.. same problem again.. low sugar... runnin low.. giddy spell.. headache.. want to vomit.. machiam pregnant like tat..... i feel weak lah basically...... sianz.... was strugglin so badly to keep myself ok.. but apparently.. i am not ok...... nid to rest alot.....

anyway.. nb nb nb................ been doin so.... dunoe why also lah..... they claim intensity too high.. they cannot take it... should i lower? i dunoe.. i shall monitor the situation..... ahem..... but then i dunoe why....... see hw lah... someone jz nw ask me.. am i takin the class nxt wk.. i say... afraid nt.. i am only coverin the class... urm.... is it gd or bad... i dunoe.. only the member knows bah.... like tis loh......

dunoe ah... i am tired... i am gone... i nt feeling gd...

addin on last point.. gt back my results.. some shocked me of the grades... esp. sw2103.. din expect to see a B lah... but then lucky i pass 2104.... phew... but then alot of changes... i am lost.. super lost.... sianz..... i hate it............................ gone

Xmas celebration

2007-12-26T01:28:00.001+08:00

Back fro my final xmas celebration i suppose... was out with vanessa...... supposed to be at glass house havin fish n cold.... but then i guess we r jz nt fated lah..... they only serve festive meals and they dun have wat i want... so we change venue.. to where... opposite... and its park mall sakae sushi....

yeah.. nice area.... and food is not bad.. and i get to eat wat i want.. urm.. the veggie veggies.... i like them so much loh...... then i gave her the 1st present of the day.. a bear bear..... cuz its too hug-able that i better give her to spice her up... and in return she gave her a box of biscuits... yeah yeah... took fotos and so on.. lalALA....

and we headed to the 2nd venue... where.... haHA.. the clinic in clarke quay... nt to visit doctor lah.... had a drink.... nt bad lah.. but i still prefer indochine one...... and then exchange the rest.... like the things that were given by her..... esp. the box of mystery items... fro bodyshop.... and also the handmade card... thank you so much.....

shared alot of personal thoughts with her.. and she gettin so emo as usual.. wth... ni nei nei...
tats abt it lah......

a great day... no more emo.. i fallin sick.. down with flu... hell..better recover fast....

*regardless wat u choose or where u go... i respect ur decision.... tell me hor... dun hide fro me... u tis emo person.... goodnite.. i am off to zzz*....

I AM NOT HAPPY

2007-12-25T10:29:00.000+08:00

woke up tis morning in a super duber foul mood... very bad mood indeed.... not to myself... i am nt happy lah... obviously nt happy on xmas day.... very fed up with myself.... since last nite.... crap.... irritated... i feel so shitty.... sianz......

last nite i was very tired.. but i cant sleep bcuz of that matter... then nvm..... bloody hell..... pple keep msging in.... my fone is ringing non-stop with the funni chipmunk voice.... smses keep cumin in... tink they r all late or delayed sms.... fro 2am to morning 5 am plus.. pple keep msging me.... i only gt to sleep at 6am....... and i dun get to sleep for long.... all thanks to my sis...... noise creator as usual........

goin to shut myself later...... dun ask me why...... i tink i will jz wack on it...

*dun drift.... i dun like n dun want....*

I hurt her

2007-12-24T23:07:00.000+08:00

Today... cover whose class.. desiree.... woodlands LO... glad that i turned the class up into laughter... kinda lame..but fun lah... and enjoyable too.... had a great day...

so many pple walkin around singapore... wth.... machiam all never buy things b4.... wait and stall till xmas then buy... so crowded..... irritating... argh... then met up with vanessa....

haix... said somethin wrong lah.... sianz... wat the.... i should nt have blunted that sentence... i should have jz shut up loh... argh.... shut my mouth lah.. ni nei nei.... caused the whole situation so messy.. sian..... ni nei nei........ i hope she is fine... i dunoe lah........

The atmosphere at her house playground is so different.... relaxin area.. but then tension so strong.... i dun like lah...... kns........... tmr tmr tmr................... sianz...................

NXT TIME DUNOE OR EVEN IF U KNOW>>> JZ SHUT UP!!!!

CLasses over the week

2007-12-22T11:37:00.000+08:00

Hadnt get to really rest over the week... found out that i had been teachin everyday... regardless is 1 class or 3 classes and etc...... tiring but happy....... how to describe the feeling... i also dunoe... but they r babies to me... esp. my own classes..... Now i can understand what do it mean by havin these few classes of ur own... and u will try to do something to reward and juz present it specially for ur members.....

Seeing the smile and the laughter on their faces really brighten me up and push me to go further.... despite u might see this in replacement classes.. but some r nt true.... i dunoe hw to describe it... like for example.. yest fri class.... seein them smile.. luff... their anticipation.. even them stoppin suddenly and etc... hahA.... make the class atmosphere so FUN!! and i really mean it... lol........ Makes one excited too.... and i can sense the enjoyment..... and defInitely some anticipate the next class as well....... luv them lots.... seriously.....

LAstly... i finally understand what AI sharon says..... do things specially for ur own classes.. cumin to replacement... sometimes its pointless to do for them.. bcuz some of them dun take u seriously... the sense of being doubt... the sense of being inferior.. the sense of wat n wat... wats the point... but its also replacement classes at other branches which make me increase my awareness too......

I luv the smile.. the wonders and everythin........ they are fabulous which i can explain........ had created a new release for my FRI NB class... shall b usin it next wk..... despite i am not doin ur style that u wanted me to do so... but then... i tink we should progress slowly on..... watchin them grow, watchin them improve..... is the goal of achievement......

Comin to a wk of disappearance of urs....created the disappearance of the rest.... its so quiet out there...... everyone suddenly jz disappear during xmas season.... i miss the festive part of urs..... the joy that u brought to the whole class loh.....

In case i dun get to blog at these few days.... merry xmas to all of u... enjoy the festive season... hughug..... luv all...... seeya round........

Off to prepare to teach class...... 320T........ nite time gt gatherin.. urm....

Emooooo tuesday....

2007-12-18T23:08:00.000+08:00

I din know i would have affect her so much.... i din know... i never had the habit to smile when i walk fro dhoby ghaut to park mall... i never loh..... i only smile more when i am inside amore.... tats wat i know.....

i dunoe wat i am typin now.. abit in the state of loss... i only know tat i make the effort and tried my best to teach her.... but perhaps its abit too pushy.. till things becum like tat.... is it my fault? her fault or whose fault? When i am sad, she is dere for me.. but when she is sad.. i hate to depict her feelings..... i have to guess... i dun like...... i'm tired..... but happy.... i dunoe... i am lost..... been receiving weird feelings.......

my GA....... away...... i feel lost out of sudden... its juz different.... but its d time for me to grow up..... afternoon was with jet... exchanging routine.. and ended up both of us created a new routine... and i tink its nice..... tis n tat.. tis n tat......

TUes kb.. replace bong.... urm... expected tat his regulars will not turn up... but pple whom i like to see were nt dere too... it seem really a CLASS to me..... i had tried my best..... seriously... i dunoe hw i fare... but then... i KNow i am somewhere somewhere........

I like and enjoy the current situation.. but then... i dunoe wats goin on............
Where r uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?????????

EMooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...................

a new life ahead

2007-12-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

I'm havin a new life recently.... everything just begin fresh....... remember i was still talkin abt my classes... and finally i got my permanent classes.... the feeling is just so different... i dunoe hw to describe.... but 1 sentence is: I luv to see members smiling and laughin and doin with me... i simply enjoy it.. And luv to hear members sayin... nxt wk i would be back or Seeyou next week... really like the feeling..... i cant explain it....

Beginning to like thomson classes more n more...... for serious......

While thoughts are ON.. other areas are up too.... wonder my mind.. wonder my thoughts of classes, schedule and stuff.... hope its a smooth sail.... others claim that my mind is full of ABC......but nt only tat bah....... jz that i dun wan to tink so much of other things....

Had a fun time with the 933 gang.. been with me for like 8 yrs..... if i din count wrong.... went to sing kbox.... so long din see... and one of them.. ken claimed that i looked sad when i am singin some of the songs... urm.. do i.. why din i feel so..... but dunoe why.... i always look into the words when i sing.... very expressive....... then we had a fun time takin fotos with the xmas trees in orchard.. very fulfilling.. check out on it!!! will upload soon...... thanks weiling, her bf... and ken for the fun time....

Flying away for some time..... emotion feeling...... up up down down.... xmas time.. guardian angel..... best regards.. enjoy....... one of the impt people in my current life.... bon voyage..... u wun see tis... but then.... i know... i had words for u...... take care... and more than that..= )

E.M.O day

2007-12-11T22:41:00.001+08:00

training.. classes... all these been evolvin around me... i dunoe i am happy or sad.. when i am takin class...for serious... i dunoe... i feelin alittle lost.... had been EMO recently..... suddenly u jz changed after sunday.. i'm gettin scared n afraid... but hope u r fine....

guardian angel always makin me up n down.. up n down.......

classes here n there.. but i enjoy....

attendin classes.... may b cuttin down..... dunoe.. i'm tired..... sianz...

gd nite........................

23rd birthday

2007-12-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

Its been so so ancient n freakin long since i last update... yah... alot of things had happened.. major events i guessed so... like letting go of someone, had my exams and defiNitely a change in my career... to be a freelance busy instructor.. i guess so..... classes so far had been doin real good.. and i really mean i enjoyed it.. and i tend to smile alot more... seeing the members perspire.. seein the members followin the routine.... seein them doin the modification... seein them smile while doin melt my heart... one of the most memorable thing is.. member walkin up to me and say "I enjoy ur class and workout.." Been so happy takin class recently... i dunoe why.... but then yeah yeah....

Then then... 23rd birthday.... another surprising day...... first gun shot was at 1145pm on 7th dec.... when sasha, vanessa and debbie turned up under my blog to give me a surprise.... with cake and present and stuff... so sweet..... and we chat till 1am late late.....

nxt day 8th dec, the day with classes in amore Park Mall.. as usual... it was meant to be a so called training and ask qn day.... was tired after replacin quite a number of classes in the wk.. muscles abit fatigue.... but then endure on... after a class..had lunch with iris... a nice chat...

and then i went home....... prepare n doll up.. and meet up with huimin, aries and weiling.. my band mates since secondary school days... always enjoy the moment ya..... never fail to make me sad.... we went to wheelock place to have NYDC... and had a 2hr chat.. v. long.. and as usual.. we nid to take neo print... hehe.. our usual routine.......

And soon later.. meet up with who... Vanessa.. my lovely "baby"... haha.... tis ger.... makes me emotional.. had dinner at cineleisure.. then in order to "kill" time.. she brings me round Orchard.. walkin fro taka to heeren and wherever.. dunoe... and we finally landed in Swensen... to have sticky chewy.... abit emo.. ended up cryin when i looked at the album..... oops... but i gt a sweet surprise fro the outlet.. the manager and his crew sang bd song for me.... so sweet....

Then we took a cab down to clarke quay.. quite still emo... bcuz i am tinkin of the memorable days that we have.. esp. the thomson roadshow..... so abit down.. then we went to drink... suddenly some pple pop up..... cheryl, jenni mummy, claudia, jade turned up.. and later sasha.. bong and mag were kinda worn out fro the lecture n course thing... that they din cum.... and i was shocked n surprised.... til i am dumbfounded... so i went there stoning abit.... but then i enjoyed myself alot alot.. really alot...

I nid to thank alot of pple for these memorable event... 1stly definitely my parents bah.. for givin birth to me.. oops.... then vanessa for all the big surprises.. then sasha for the idea of surprisin me at downstairs... also to ken for the birthday song over the fone... mummy jenni for singing the surprise bd song and her lovely gift.... ahlian cheryl for organizin the rest to turn up.... humin, aries and weiling.. for being there for me in the afternoon.... and all my loved ones for celebrating with me.. sendin me wishes and every little single thing..... thank you... below are all the fotos that are taken.....

The classic weishi on her 23rd birthday

Ang bao fro parents..

Neoprint of Me, Huimin and Weiling

Neoprint 2

Nike bag by Huimin, Weiling and Aries.. i like!

Nike bag fro Vanessa, Sasha, Debbie, Iris, Jenni Mummy, Sharon

Doll-up stuffs by mummy jenni

Me with the pouch...

My amore mummy jenni.. luv her lots...

Nike jacket and 2 lovely things fro Bong, Mag, Cheryl, Claudia... did i miss out anyone??

My lovely instructors and loved ones...

At IndoChine... correct spellin?

Another nice pic...

Chip from Van... tis is great!

VAnessa... my "baby"... lolx...

Photo album tat makes me cry.. Vanessa!!!

So sweet of her.... againzzz.... makin me emo...

Nike voucher fro Ben, Feifei and QY

Tis is it.. can spend on my nike stuffs again..

Nike "bag" by Feifei, Qy and Ben.. so nice of them hor..

These are the sotong words...

and lastly.. tis is my house of chip n dale.. i luv them lots...

happy over the moon

2007-10-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

Yeah... i guess i am happy bah... and mayb over the moon... so wat had been so happy for me..... nothin much basically.....

from mon... trainin.. or in fact is supposed to be rehearsal.... then did awhile nia.. cuz due to some unforeseen circumstances........ then went to replace class at kovan... 3 members.. 1st time full class... then nt stressed... tats d worst part... and i tink i did fairly well.. other than gettin abit off beat.... or forgetting 1 part... but bcuz the pple r so NEW>.. i did a super duber long breakdown and super haf time.. and i am glad tat they can follow... lucky.. thaNks goodness......

then.... after takin the class damn tired... dunoe why.. jz want to go eat... i am hungry.... went back to hq to return somethin.. then go eat...... machiam glutton.... then went to take my hotel class... thought someone will b there.. diao... 1 person again.. end up..... go back after 15mins.. sianz......

but then... i gt news fro jenni.... and in fact was happy bah.. cuz some gd news here n there..... so like tat loh.......

then tues n wed.. basically r rehearsals for KB thomson roadshow... tiring....... one word... but then i also damn stoned... wasnt smiling much... they say i damn serious.... but then tats me bah... sometimes i jz like to focus...... and memorize...... then i forget the timin of my class... and end up i din turn up.... so jialat.... and our projects are given out during lect and none of my group members turn up... best rite...... includin me.... but lucky the lecturer is ok with it... phew.... and we escape....

then gt back my project grades... woohoo.. gt an A-........ can pull back my mid term grades... so happy...... geo module r good...... nice tutors........ and adding on....... i managed to ask B abt the questions tat are in suspense for long... and glad that things do turn out well. otherwise it would b disappointment....... nw i jz await bah......

and wed evening.. went to replace my another class.... in wl... wooohoo.. abt 20-30 pple.. i din count... but roughly.. mayb sun then go and ask..... and i tink i did much better... gt intensity... options... did haf time when necessary as quite a number cant catch up.. and gd thing pple can memorize my routine.... and also i din fumble when the mic went no batt..... and some of jet's regulars are present too.. and give me thumbs up... happy for it.. but still room for improvement ya.......

i set high expectation.. but then will try my best to achieve...... and i told B. before too...... but then sometimes things may jz nt go ur way ah.... so like tat.... argh..... keep strivin and we will b there.... jiayou.....

BUsy

2007-10-28T21:50:00.000+08:00

Had been so busy and tired recently.. till i looked completely like a zombie.... is tis wat i deserve or is this wat i want... i dunoe...

recently... projects... tests... based on nus academic.. then in amore... busy with doin cool down classes.. n also audition to teach LO and HILO classes..... and also adding is thomson roadshow... tired..... tired... weishi aka unknowger aka edlyn aka weisee is tired... strugglin abit.... till she feels like goin to chill and drink... diaoz hor....

Anyway... NUS update... urm... nothin much.. cleared almost all my project... left 1 more nia.. and funni thing is... i score an A for one of my projects.. its an individual assignment... hahA.. never expect to get an A... cuz thought its impossible..... but then its a write-up abt a fieldtrip to farms in Singapore.. haHA.. mayb i am v. attached to farms... so i can do better.... other than tat.. i tink nothin much.. cuz.. my life almost evolves around amore lah...

IN AMORE
-----------
How to say ah.... yah... 1st and for all... i had officially passed my AIC course... nw an official instructor le.... woohoo.... and can take LO and HILO.... and adding on... i had also passed the audition of AMore too.. at currently.. i am a freelance instructor in there....yup.. can only do LO and HILO... will be undergoing training for KB and NB bah..... and then proceed on..... and happy news is i will b havin perm class soon... cant release details so soon.. but then soon lah.. check it out...... happy happy.....

I had alot of things to tell and let bong know... but then everytime i see him face to face.. i do not dare to talk... i dunoe is it bcuz i respect him or wat ah... but then... things jz dun cum out.... argh... saded....... gt things to ask him... but eventually... its jz like tat..... it din turn out that well as expected.. sianz...

MY BOY
----------
Hw to describe tis.. 1 mth with him... pretty much happy... but also alot of feelings... i dunoe hw to explain.. and dun wish to explain at here..... cuz its a mixed feelings.. i dunoe is it bcuz i wanted all those.. but he din give me or wat.... or is it bcuz i find some elements is lackin btw us.... i seriously dunoe......tats abt it.....

And so... my life is getting busier..... cumin wk... thomson roadshow.. alot of things nt settled..... argh.. routine.. outfit.. everythin basically.. then adding on.. cumin wk replacin jet's class.. mon, wed... sun replacin clarisse..... still pendin for thur jasmine class.. to accept anot?? i dunoe.....
MANY THINGS!!!! and also... the hotel class is still there for me.... mayb for the mth of nov... yah... so like tat.....

I cried

2007-10-20T21:32:00.001+08:00

For the past week... i wasnt happy... definitely not within my relationship... is abt the attachment that i had with my mentor... i am not angry with him.... but in fact.... i am very glad and happy that i have him as my mentor..... he is really v. patient with me... in fact, tis is the very 1st time i see him so patient... he din scold me..he din say me.. and he really guided me patiently..... thank you so much to him.......

Wed nite... i cried for the 1st time.... after i failed in my own expectations.. and his too... he din reprimand me... but did tell me which are the areas that i gone wrong... being a sensitive man.... he knows that i am not happy.. and told me to cheer up.. jz b4 he get off the train..... but then... i cried ah... on the train after that... and was told to do it for the 2nd time the nxt day after.....

Thurs..... was in school 1st...... then strugglin to smile in fact.... didnt mean to.. but then i nid to put on a brave front and avoid others from worrying fro me..... but once i got into PM Amore.... i cried under the thick towel..... and i shocked Van....... bcuz she sensed i am nt ok while she is havin CL inside.. and came out to see me...... i jz dun feel gd... i am worried and scared... so i cry again...... diao.. and dragged her to go makan with me.. we had a feast..... and i mean it... curry noodles.... 2 cold tofu... green milk tea.... red bean glutinous rice... siew mai... did i miss out anything.. then... went back to studio to practise... halfway through i am jz fed up with myself... for serious.. really fed up..... bcuz i jz cant get wat i want or wat he wants from me... idiot.. CRAP!... and then took the class again...... and damn it... things jz dun go wat i want.... but the patient mentor jz brought me to the side.. and taught me again... tis time round he tells me those things that he wants individually and taught me hw to say... appreciate it alot..... but he wanted me to do it again at the evening class....

Went over to bugis.. wanted to go and have a walk alone on my own.... but then i din want to worry the others....so i jz went with them... only had a drink and try to practise.. but then i jz couldnt get wat he want.... 3mins before class begins.. i told him that i give up... say i am not prepared.... and i dun wan waste time.... so i dun wan... and lucky i tell him tat....

but then... i cry again when i gt back.. so diao... jz damn disappointed with my ownself ah.... cuz i din expect things will turn out like tis... such a simple n easy thing.. yet i did like hell..... then ended up.... i am damn down.... in the nite i scared alot of pple.. esp. debbie n iris... they were v. worried for me.... super.... i am sorry for that.... i begin to lose my confidence.. lost my stand.....

fri.. went school.. super low mood.... then finally gt to mit Van.. who is there to cheer me up again.. thanks to her so much.. again i dragged her to eat..... diao hor... went kenny rogers... she really brighten me up..... and we eat green tea ice-cream... drink milk tea... and wat huh.. dunoe... but she really brightens me up alot.. and gave me the assurance....... and i went back in a better mode....

Sat... the day came.. i seem to drag myself to go workout... bcuz i am worried that i cant mit his requirements again.. almost cried when i reach... someone or i mean a member shelter me over.. cuz drizzling.. had a short session with her... and she is encouraging.. thank you....then din want to talk to anyone.. cuz i jz dun have the mood.... then time to take the cool-down session.....

started off super tensed up... he commented that he cant hear wat i am talkin.. say i am blabbering through again... but the main routine.. went pretty smooth.. jz that for the fact.. i shouldnt hold the members for too long bah.. today was much better than the previous few.....

IN conclusion.... i am really glad that i had made myself... bong.... the members and my loved ones to smile and enjoy the session with me... thank you v. much..... u had been my rainbow... which brightens me up... the songs are picked to depict my emotions.. and hope u all know what i am tryin to convey.... i am not push-up ger... but then.... i know we nid that too.....

and last but not the v. least... I HAD PASSED MY AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR COURSE OFFICIALLY!!! Thank you................... i luv myself and everyone and my boy too.... hehe....

and back to it... more challenges are up.....
1) Upcoming thurs cooldown.... i am supposed to talk but not do......
2) A full-class session to take... my ideal dream...
3) Amore new outlet... Thomson plaza..... roadshow on 4, 11, 18th nov..... involved in KB performances......

WHY DO you passed me??? the answer will b revealed on upcoming thursday as said by him... so check it out... woohoo......

Being an instructor is never an easy job!!!

2007-10-11T22:30:00.000+08:00

What is the feeling to stand up on stage? Do you ever wonder? What is the kind of feelings that others will give up when u are up on stage? You never know. These few days, quite a couple of things happen to my loved instructors.... feel disheartened for them.. for the amt of effort that they had put in... for the amt of hard work... yet.. jz bcuz of some -ve issues... they were being shot.... wth hell....

I feel angry for them.. i feel sad for them... i understand the feeling of being shot by members when u under-performed... or when they feel that you should not be up on stage... like for example.... one lame member came forward and tell me " You are not suitable and cut out to take this class... You should not be here..."... for heaven sake... in the 1st place... you are nt v. gd... i dun see the reason why u still gt the cheeks to say me....... and if you cant follow my moves... i dun see you enjoyin urself durin his class... he might have the charisma.. but then..... everyone is there for a workout... so pls... give a chance to everyone..... no one blooms as a big flower lah....... and sorry ah.... to me.... i take feedback.. but constructive feedback..... and i will get myself to improve and correct... and prove it to u all.... I have my aims and targets set...i wun say it at here... in perhaps only sasha knows wat am i sayin..... and i goin to show it to u pple.... if u r nt happy when i take... jolly well.. dun turn up and show me an attitude face... i hate to see such faces..... idiot......

why are pple not recognized for their hard work..... idiot..... do u tink u can learn hw to crawl immediately when u were a baby.... din ur mother ever taught u repeatedly b4 i ever get to do it well... so pls... if u tink it is too fanciful... if u tink its too hard... work hard.. cum for more classes... dun based on 1 thing and jump into conclusion and shoot... and for those pple at the back..... i hate the feeling too... had u ever try to step into the shoes and put urself in the position of an instructor?

Do you know hw they feel? Do you see the pressure... I doubt u pple dun... bcuz u never appear in classes... do u tink it is so easy to be up on stage.. and teach and deliver the correct message and classes...... all u all know is jz reply back to the letter.. not defendin ur own pple... and jump into conclusion that they are bad..... pple say that they r rude.. class too fanciful and too complicated... pls.... i tink they did a gd job by telling pple that there are OPTIONS... understand anot... OPTIONS.. which means pple can choose to do or not to do... kns....... its these pple who jz want to do.. even u tell them to join u.... and if u raise ur voice alittle louder... they shoot back at u... wat the hell.... i am angry.......

Anyway to pple out there that i know.. i am alrite... really... jz dun feel good for my instructors.. i hate to see them behavin in such a manner..... they r nt enjoyin equal we r nt enjoying too... in any way.... i am happy for some stuffs...

was at bugis jz now for 7pm CB... some members approached me and asked whether am i takin the class... i am glad that they had enjoyed the class at last wk... and they do say that hoping bong will bring me back up on stage again...... esp. 1 member told me that last tues.. she accidentally happen to attend a class.. and gt a replacement.. sorry.. cant mention names bcuz it wasnt something gd in the 1st place.. while she is attending, she is thinkin and hoping that i am the one up on stage.... leading them instead... quite touched n happy to hear it.. but its somethin beyond my control ah.. bcuz whether i can go up on stage anot.. really depends on bong...i dunoe whether should i tell this to him.. seekin his permission to let me take a full class of his thurs.. after my attachment.. or wait till his members to feedback more to him.. requestin..... definitely if i improve.. i tink i am happy and they will b happy for me too... thank you to them for trusting me so much.. and givin me opportunities to showcase and lead them.......

In conclusion ah... we cant please everyone.. neither could we give in to every single pple out there.... but then we nid to live and enjoy what we do...... but i hope u all r happy... doubt yall will get to see all these posts.. unless u did a good search on the online engine.....

yAh yah..... memory space running low.. haha.... mayb processor as well.. time to upgrade my physical body hor... sasha??? lolx.... or mayb some fragmentation... if nt bits n pieces... lolx....

I dunoe when r u fake or real...

2007-10-09T01:14:00.000+08:00

Some pple are just so fake... and when i say that, i am not talkin about the reflection of you... but the real self of you... pretending to tell you all the kind-hearted words.. but in the end... everything shoot from behind... but i am sorry to let u know that i had disappointed you... because i had never taken such unreasonable remarks into my heart.. not even touchin it.. if it is constructive.. yes... i will accept.. but then.. urs are not... too bad for u....

So far so good... and i dunoe hw is the situation right now.. but i know i am happy ah..... left with 2 more cool down, 2 pilates, 2 yoga and 2 step classes for me to attend.. and i would be done with my attachment le.... yah.. tats abt it...... and hopefully my kind-hearted mentor is pleased and satisfied with my performance....

Yah.... tats abt it.... everythin doin fine... i mean me and him ah..... tryin my very best to mit him.. and not to be tired in front of him too......

ok.. i am gone.. buaibuai....

So busy and tired

2007-10-07T10:09:00.000+08:00

For the past wk plus, i had been tied down by alot of things.... making me so tired..... But if wanna say major event... let me tink.... only a couuple or so....

1) I took a 45mins class... consisting of both warm-up and main routine... at bugis junction 7pm. Had a great time out becuz alot of things happen. For example, an hour before the class begin, he asked me to change quite a number of things... quite stressed by that... becuz i do not know whether i can create the changes anot.. so my mood quite swing all the way down... yah.. these 4 words r simple.. " Enjoy and Have Fun"... but once u r up on stage, its just so different.. u gt to consider every single factor....

Then... class begin.... perhaps lady luck is on me. At the initial stage of the warm up... ahh... i fumble abit.. gt lost in the music.. and i jz let the class know naturally.. which is equivalent to "talkin to the participants"... and everyone luff at me.... and then we just continue bah.... hahA...
Then he keeps doin wrongly.... at the front.. dunoe wat he do ah.. then some of the regulars luff at him... includin me... wahHAA..... but the funniest part came by the 35mins... i can sense the pain in my throat ah.... but then i try to endure.... think i am too "high" till i am screamin with my voice... damn jialat... and quite a no. of times i went "off-key".... making everyone luff at me.... hahA... until the peak of the joke is... i went almost voiceless..... til he asked me to shutup and drink water.... and so weird that i jz let the members to continue on their own naturally while i drink water..... but then drink water din help leh...... it jz pain.... keep on increasin the pitch of my voice.... till i couldnt even hear my voice....

But then back to square.... i am really happy.... bcuz i can really see everyone enjoying themselves... they were smiling, luffing... and good thing to know is.. they have a great workout... majority of the members can follow the routine.... which is the most impt thing.... hehe.... and feedback given by him was.... i can see he was happy... and he did comment that based on a new instructor to be able to deliver such class is oreadi very good... but still nid to improve on some other areas... e.g. my arm movements, no creativity and i know on my listening skills. Discover that i could hear the music that well.. sometimes will go off-beat, despite catchin back fast.....

2) Second issue is i am given the opportunity to cross over to an island called Pulau Tekong. To the guys, its a torture, but not for me.. Lolx... becuz i am goin over there to teach them. Just for half an hour. Gt this offer to go over to teach them kickboxin. NIce experience though, despite they were a kingdom of beasts. Luff at their coordination roblems..... luff at their ignorance and etc..... but most impt, welfare was real gd at there... gt escot to bring us fro 1 place to another... other than the washroom... lolx.....and we r well-paid too...

Was very thankful to have such lobang.. and i tink i am really doin so happily in this industry.... really enjoyin wat i am doin rite now.....but had been tiring myself out at everyday too.... havin little amt of sleep... but then doin well...

and last but not least, before i end my essay..... jz like to tell everyone tat.... i am thankful to have "him" with me from 29092007. Time to embark on a new relationship and learn to be a mature lady who will luv and treasure someone. Yah.. he treatin and protectin me well.. thank you.......

3rd class.....

2007-09-27T21:37:00.000+08:00

Back here again.... had been up on stage... tis time for the 3rd time... with a tougher role... nid to complete a warm up and main routine.... guess hiccups is always there de ah... jz depends hw u face it...overcome it.... and get over it....

Today for the 3rd time.... i took his class... yah... some how..... things din went as smoothly as i expected... I am prepared to take the class... but then it jz happened... started off with forgettin the lunge movement.... till the music.. and then the cueing.... its jz nt there out.... and i get affected by the emotions and crowd very easily... when they r "high", i am "high" too.. vice versa... i dont see them enjoyin the routine... i dont see alot of things... instead i saw sian-sation.... fightin back my tears not to cry.... and faking up a smile..... but then sometimes things nt right lah...... kns.....

thank you to those who cheered me up...... the encouragement.. the feedbacks.... everything.. thank you..... we improve as we go on....so do i... i wun b beaten down so easily.. bcuz i am weishi.... strong n steady.... jiayou bah.....

sianz... why did i lose the feel of studyin.... WHY!!!!

Anyway i am really alrite le... dun worry abt me.... seriously i am fine.... dun probe me...

I am very happy

2007-09-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

HahAha... i am very very very very happy and satisfied..... perhaps with the rate that i am progressing bah.... these 2 wks really had not been wasted. Still remember that last monday.. i almost make pple vomit.... cuz he keeps on askin me to talk to him.. talk to him.. and watch claudia.... and look at her..... and worst till i cant remember the routine...

But then things do change ah.. and i mean myself..... correct myself... and etc.... on monday returned back to HQ and practised on my own with claudia.. and efforts do pay off... somehow manage to correct some stuffs.. He din ask me to talk so much to him.. mayb bcuz he feels i had talked alot... but then asked to work on my cueing.. bcuz i am really late in the cueing.. causing everyone to move to the wrong direction... diaoz...

Yeah.... and adding on... he asked me to have my own style in my warmup.... and helped me to create one too.... so on the spot.... and never know that i manage to get it on the spot.. real happy ah..... but jz work hard....

The day finally comes.... which is today.... SEPT 20th...... went to PM studio.. and saw claudia... hahA.. she is a nice gal.. really help me alot... and go through my routine with her..... and there manage to get things out.... hear comments n feedback.. and correct on... then attend classes... keep listenin to his cueing.. and see hw can i improve on.... really tried my best..

Savin abit of energy in KB... then after class... that guy ah.... i thought he would want to see my routine.. but then.. he din.. jz walked away.. wth.... but then sasha and debbie tried.. gt some positive feedback fro them... and suggestions too.. thank you.....

the time is drawin so near...7pm... and then i am being introduced up on stage as a future instructor... and everythin happen within seconds...... thank you to him for askin me to smile up on stage.... and tat assured me once.... but i know i can do it de.. so here i begin... getting everyone on their toes... and it goes smoothly.. minor hiccups.. and i am lucky that i make everyone luff n smile along the way.. thank you... u smile, he smile.. everyone smiles.... i am happy for it....

U had assured me... and i feel certain too..... thank you... Thanks to all the wishes, encouragement, feedback and so on..... Its a day that i will remember and never forget.. thank you...